isabel silva

Hey, how have you been? 

mm yo been a min straight to the point i tried to od but my girlfriend found me then some hospital shit therapy and now im okay. not really but i dont want therapy so i say im okay this app got me all over the place so i dont know how to respond to any of it 

Honestly I dont know what to do anymore

Lowkey the only times I'm on this app when when I'm literally so close to just ending shit right there but like I'm fine I mean there are times I don't go on this app when I feel like that some days I just keep to myself for a week then I am completely emotionless but ayeeee that's just part of my life.
          I feel like theres so much pressure on me one slip up one little mistake and then I feel like the smallest person on this earth if I don't graduate from high school I would be the family mess up the only one that didnt want to go to college I have to have straight A's and B's nothing bellow that.
          No one is special no one is perfect think about this there's people all around the world that are the same I'm sure you cant do something no one else can do theres no room for special because we are all the same the only special are known people they aren't nobody's they are something if one of them die millions of people are saying sorry and are sad they all care but me I'm the same I can fucking walk like them but no one would care because life is like that.
          I'll be happier off dead and then maybe people will start to appreciate me and notice that I was the only good for them I dont think they even cared about me tho they would always you know just left me there I dont want to drag anyone down with me so I started to push a lot of people away my friend even told me that he can leave if I continue with this not texting being a bitch idk how to push people away nicely lol I cant tell if I'm laughing or crying bout how fucked up I am hehe all I fucking know is that I'm dying 

I'm so lonely
          I wanna do acid but like not alone with a friend or something you know
          Last night I snuck out and met up with this one chick that I used to fuck with
          Shes different now more mature
          She was different 
          She was still the same tho 
          I'm not gonna talk about what happened tho 
          That's sexual even tho everything on this app is sexual asf
           I'm sure yall wouldnt want to know bout that
          After that tho we went to her boucany
          She in just my shirt and me in my sweats 
          Smoking the last joint I brought with me 
          Looking at the stars 
          Something I wanted to so with my girlfriend or uh ex now ig you can say
          It's a break she said 
          She still checks up on me telling me shes fine
          Is this cheating? 
          I'm always craving that type of attention 
          I left her house like nothing happened that night when home like nothing 
          It doesn't fell like I was cheating but it felt so wrong too 
          Do I keep this to myself do I tell her? 
          Yea I know its quarantine and shit but stuff is opening here so it dont matter 
          I promised my ex I wouldnt drink anymore
          I did so much this week 
          I'm no longer clean anymore 
          Lol I'm still mentally unstable 
          This isnt all bout this one gurl tho 
          I'm just lost again 
          I'm still so fucked in the head 
          Maybe people will stop caring yk then I can do whatever I want
          How are yall?

Theres a lot of shitt goin downnn so like I might just kill myself 

Yall my girlfriend really just broke up with me...

@-northernxdownpour- ight fs just let me get high asf and wait till night cuz that's when my emotions really be wild

@-northernxdownpour- really? I can continue

@kyleighbaker999 yess yes it is thank you for askin