That's part of the reason. The other is personal life problems. I think my parents, Particularly my mother, despise that this was the talent I got. They just don't say it, but I feel it.
'Why can't you be better at Math or something?'
'Journalist? Why not an Engineer like your father? Maybe a Doctor? Oh! How about an Architect? You're good at art, right? They pay a lot more than what you say you want. Look at your sister, she wants to be a flight stewardess!'
'Artist?! Don't make me laugh! It's not even a stable job!'
And get this, I showed her a drawing of Michael Mell from Be More Chill musical. I was really proud of it too. For once, I got the anatomy just right, even if I'm a beginner, The coloring and shading looked great! But she looked at me in the eye and told me:
"It looks good but I'm disappointed in you."
That line shattered me. How..? Why?! I knew I shouldn't have showed her that! At least my Father, Sister and friends be like
"It's good, you're improving! Keep it up then you might make something grander!" Which kept my motivation up. When I asked why she just said.
"You make great drawings? Why notmake a business? Or maybe you're scared because your art is actualky really ugly?"
I tried to explain to her that I was just drawing so that I could improve! Practice my anatomy and proportions. My coloring. The poses.
But did that reach her, NO. She just continued on with that stare until I just went upstairs. The next few days weren't at all great.
I was spiralling down self loathing and pushed people away. Even my family hates me now. I can feel it. I just don't know what's wrong with me.
So maybe that's why I don't wanna continue this account. I'm too tired now. Just, lemme update those chapters and let me say goodbye to you guys. I love you guys so much. Thanks for all the experiences and memories. My fellow authors, I thank you too. Without you guys I might not have found my passion for writing...
(2/2)