theTAMEone

Mmmm... good morning. It's about 4.53 am. I'm back from hibernating.

theTAMEone

That I am wrong to judge someone. That I am wrong to be myself. That I am wrong to disrespect others no matter what happens. I am tired. Cold. Sad. I am anything but happy. I've lost much. But I'm slowly regaining them again. But I keep losing them over and over again. In the end, I just realize that I am nothing but a soul lost in the world of the harsh roads that haven't been swept for so long. I realize the dark smudges I had on my skin as I fell onto the ground. It felt dark, the world I mean. The only thing accompanying me was only my voice that didn't even dare make a sound of pain. I feel like that small bowl there that's unwashed. Because people don't realize of what value I am. Of what value each living soul is. They leave us rotting under the sun when they could just wash us with the pure water. They don't realize the pain they make others go through. It's as pathetic as I am. I do nothing to make myself better as they so nothing to correct their own mistakes. And in the end, I just realize I'm like them. It's impossible for me to feel anything at all. I've lost a spark in my life as I've lost treasured people. And I weep so pathetically. I just want to feel normal again. I want that feeling of solidarity in something amazing. Not just feeling lonely and empty. I want to fly. I want to have my heart soar and flutter again. I want me to stop feeling the sad things. I want to be happy. But the world is not what we think it is. We haven't even lived as long as the earth to even feel it's pains. Yet dare say we are even worse. Yet.. In the end there is still no difference. Pain is pain. And butterflies cant flutter their wings without them.

theTAMEone

 My feelings are like that of a dead leaves. It's frail, it's sad and dead. Easily swept to the side. The ones that are thrown in the trash and and the ones that the wind carries as it's cries are never heard over the howling of the wind. It's like I've never been born. Like I've lost a part of my soul. A part of me is still yet to be born and I've only had one wing to fly with, but that one wing is useless without the other. And I realize that I cannot fly like everybody else. I'm feeling so pathetic because I can't remember the sweet memories I've had. I can't feel the sweet feelings youth brings to me. I miss being able to feel free. It results me to feeling so dead inside. Because I feel so unworthy, while I try to convince others with my fake smiles and fake everything that I'm normal like everyone else. I feel a bitter taste on the tip of my tongue, and I try to understand what it is. It results to me biting my tongue as I taste the metallic fluid. I feel like I'm being in the wrong.

theTAMEone

Sometimes I feel so dead inside I wonder if I should worry. If I should tell others. If I should wonder that it's just normal. Or if I should just not say anything at all. It seems just so pathetic of me. That youth is, in fact so hard for me. I see things differently. I feel everything differently. I feel like I am not even a teenager with a future to worry about. But rather a teenager with dreams that'll never be fulfilled because I'm so pathetic sometimes. Acting as if the world isn't of any worry. Acting as if I'm so bright. But in reality, I'm just dead inside, yet I act so lively on the outside.