Aditya Nayak

Contd..
          
          No don't waste your time on me.
          
          "I ain't worth it". But how do you know you are not worth me, I have chosen you so I know what you deserve,what you will love. She said I don't want to explain you buss I cannot love you anytime in my life.
          
          I was broken,still broken,will be broken..
          
          Let me flow through this feeling..
          
          I am loving this..
          
          I don't want you to be sad..
          
          If you are happy away from me..
          
          I am most happy..
          
          I won't make you sad ever..
          
          I am not in love with you bcz you are perfect..
          
          I am in love with you bcz I love your flaws..
          
          I love your kiddish behavior..
          
          I love your anger..
          
          I will be there for you every time..
          
          And I don't expect the same from you..
          
          I expect only your love..
          
          I just need that..
          
          I still love her,stands for her, respect her. but I don't make her feel loved.
          
          At some point of life I will again see her, she will see me..
          
          We will smile and move on..
          
          With all the memories again playing in back of head..
          
          The love will again rise but this time only to rip me apart for one last time..
          
          My love will never fade..
          
          Might be this is destined..
          
          I hate my destiny..
          
          But I love it as it gave me a chance to meet her..
          
          And the song continues "sach keh raha hai deewana,dil dil naa kisi se lagana"..
          
          

Contd..
          
          She believed this too that yes there can be this reason that he could have been busy. And chose to take out all the anger of me,her friend. The one's who were with her to stop her from shattering into pieces. We listened because we knew she was hurt. We chose to make her realise this after sometime,because she wasn't in her Normal frame of mind. Time passed, we gathered and said all what we wanted. She listened and said yes I do realise this how wrong I was that I believed him, trusted him. And said she won't be taking to him, she conveyed this to him also. All were riding smooth, and my Feelings were getting stronger towards her. And I don't wanted to stop that. It is like she is perfect for me. I again said her I love you, "I don't".."I won't ever".. that there and then killed me. Any specific reason I asked "no I can't be in relation with you."
          
          But why.? Take your time,you have all of it. I am waiting. No I know this won't happen. I asked but why, I don't know and I don't want to explain. Her words "I know what I am loosing but I can't force my self". But baby who is forcing you, I did said take your time,you have all.
          
          

Continued..
          
          Time passed she was very hurt,as she is a kind of girl who will love you purely,with heart not from brain. But nothing much can be done. Then again an incident happened one of her friends called that guy and asked him to come to their place(they were in long distance relationship,both belonged to different states) he said he will be there. She got to know this,she was very happy. The happiness was seen her on face from miles. I was sad but again chose to fake as I didn't wanted to hurt her. Time flew and day came, and that guy denied he can't be there due to some personal issues. She was broken into pieces. I got a feeling that she is hurt. Called her no answer,again the same. After few try he gave up.
          
          'Tune mere Jaana,kabhi nahi jaana' my phone rang. I dived to pick it up. She was crying, I asked no answer after few seconds reply comes I just want to cry. Don't Ask me anything. But but what happened,please tell, I said.Crying continued,call your friend she Will tell you what happened. I said okay,but you can also say. I don't want to talk to anyone,she said.
          
          It's okay, it's okay. Please don't be angry. I was also crying, but couldn't show her. I called her friend and asked the reason of all this, and came to knew that guy didn't came as his trip with friends were important to him, he was afraid to have her, he was not feeling good after coming into relationship. That's it.. this was his reason.. I wanted to kill that guy as he again broke her.
          
          

"Unconditional love is happiness"
          
          'I am in love with you' I said..
          
          She in shock asked "seriously"..
          
          I couldn't reply as I got to know she is into a relationship.. It was hard for me..but I chose not to show my emotions. As I loved her.
          
          It was valentine's day. In evening a message came happy valentine's day. That killed me,but I loved her,respected her. I sweetly replied a very happy valentine's day to you too.. always be happy and smiling. I could not write more. My hands were feeling Tremors.
          
          Time passed I was always there for her, standing with her in every decision she made, every step she took. Not because I loved her blindly but I loved her purely. I wanted to be there for her incase she falls to pick her up and give strength to follow her path. To make her wrong decision also correct.
          
          She was happy,not until a day I found that she is not. She was into some sort of trouble in her relation. But she chose not to tell me rather conveyed this to her female friends,somehow I came to knew. I wanted to talk to her, because she was broken,damm broken and I could not see her in that frame of mind.. at once I was happy also because I knew that guy wasn't good for her,he was playing with her emotions. But as it is said love is blind, yes she was blind. She didn't wanted to listen a single word against that guy. That guy said he can't co-operate with his studies if He talks to her. And that dumb girl found this reason as a genuine one. I had a nice chat with her,kept my points,view but she was not ready to listen to any thing.. she wanted to be in solitude. Again as I loved her, I just made her understand what he wanted but I knew that she wasn't listening to me.
          
          

          
          You are grieving. It doesn’t feel good, but it is necessary when we lose someone we are close to. Your mom would not want you to die missing life experiences you will have. Your experiences will be important for the generation after you, for you will pass on knowledge a sense of what is life from what you went through. Hopefully you will pass on experiences that helped you grow. Some people are a little better than others in doing this, but a little bit of us carrys on through what we impart to others. Allow yourself to grieve, which may include crying. Talking with those you are comfortable with can help. If you don’t feel it is adequate or enough, consider a grief support group where those who also have lost someone close to them go. They will be more in-tuned with your feelings because of their own experiences.
          
          After profound grief, we have to navigate our way through a new normal. Even though begrudgingly, just getting through each day is a win. I found it hard to talk about the intensity of my pain, because no one could understand me. No matter how much I talked about how sad I was, people would tell me “you’ll be alright” or they would try and change topic because grief made them uncomfortable.
          Grief isn't something that goes away. It stays with you and you learn to live with it.
          
          Grief isn't something that goes away. It stays with you and you learn to live with it.
          
          Own it. That grief is yours. Expect less of yourself and of others. If you lower your expectations of others, people are less likely to let you down. If you take it easy on yourself, you will make small steps without noticing.