"Hey! Kid! It's me, Grandpa Sea Monkee! Now listen up, this is important. See, back in my day, entertainment was cheap! You just walk yerself down to the newsstand or drugstore and pick yourself up a comic-book for one thin dime -- or, if you're cheap, you could just stand there and read it for free, but Old Man Carruthers -- he was the guy ran the drug store -- he'd prob'ly shout at you about how it weren't no lending library. Course we'd say we knew that already, coz our local library didn't carry no comic-books, heck they didn't even get magazines until thirty-six, and that were just a subscription to 'Reefs & Gardens'. Anyway our library would never of carried the comic-books I liked, like 'CRIME SQUAD' and 'True Tales of Murder Justice', what with the blood and violence in 'em. Worse things in them comics than you get on television these days, let me tell you. Loved 'em. What was I talking about? Oh yeah, money. See entertainment used ta be cheap, but not anymore it ain't! Money, money, money, that's all that anything is about these days, and everything costs ten times more than it's got any right to. Don't care for them jokes myself, don't see the need for all these pop-cultural references and whattayacallems, 'post-modernisms' and 'metahumors' all talking directly to the reader, why back in my day we were perfectly satisfied with a good knock-knock joke, but no, everything these days has to be modern and whatnot. Seems a shame to me, you just don't get good jokes like we saw Fatty Barnes tell in the vaudeville hall back when I was young. You don't get the dollar ride for a nickle, that's what my pappy told me, and what his pappy told him. My great grandpappy was an oyster and couldn't talk, so that's as far back as that goes, but you can bet yer britches that he would have, if he could've talked, or had a brain that could process complicated thoughts like that. Wait a minute... where the hell am I? Who are you?"
