So far, my résumé reads as follows:

- Wattpad junkie
- Cannot be trusted with WiFi 
- Eats ice cream for a living 
- Strange obsession with eyebrows
- Can't spare enough time to give two flying flies about my appearance
- A heart as big as Beyoncé's derrière (pretty big if you asked me ... but you didn't so ... *cue awkward silence*)