-        SOME INFORMATION ABOUT THIS USER'S LIFE  -I'm done reading fanfiction for some time now, I'm going to abandon this account but I'll log in time to time. I want to thank everyone for the beautiful journey throughout these 6 years. I just don't have the motivation to read like I had, in those past 6 years. I am not that obsessed with BLACKPINK anymore but I still like them. Maybe maturation is realizing that as you're growing older, you no longer share the same view or thoughts you had in the past. But I'll never forget the warmth these 4 girls brought me into my life while school days feel like hell sometimes and all the fanfics I read. I do miss my delusional ass though. The way I jumped from BP's ship to another ship, watching fan made videos, and slowly influenced with LGBTQ. I realized that I've come really far with my mere attraction of a Korean pop group to LGBTQ group. To be honest, I have known that I like girls since I was 12 years old(I tried to kiss a girl crush while we were playing superhero, I'm super embarrassed just thinking about it), I just never acknowledge myself as queer because of internalized homophobia that my society had imprinted in my mind. As a result, when I had my first puppy love, my crush asked me if I'm straight or not, I just answered with a lie and said that I'm straight. I am being taught in my religion that if you are queer, you will go to hell whether you do a good deed or not. I am honestly scared too, having fallen in love with the same gender and going to hell for eternity. Because of this I just cannot accept myself as a queer. When my hetero friends told me their crush, I just silently listen to them and I could never tell them my real feelings for a same gender I had a crush on(not that I would confess to them or anything). I then concluded that I'd rather be single secret lesbian for my whole life than fall in love if my religion and society does not permit me to be a queer... That's all,goodbye and thank you guys