therubyknight

lol right yea the vampires comment, idk if you have noticed but theres alot of the younger people who well.. all they care about is something having vampires in it i just wanted to make it clear that i won't be writing about vampires (thats my sisters job) me.... my fiction is a little more lofty :)

I have to thankyou for replying to me with such a mature and accepting response so hard to find people like you on the internet. 
          I will leave you to your story and hope for the best, i am looking forward to it.
          I apologise for such a long response i guess I just really want to see your story succeed. :) 

I can understand how that works from the time i started till now my own style of writing has changed dramatically. It took people to tell me how to improve and to show me where i was struggling.
          I think remaking can be a good idea especially since you started this story a few years ago. The plot is very sound and can become an amazing story if written well. 
          
          I have another suggestion for you, i found your characters were not individualised enough. Devolping their personailty more can help readers identify more with how these characters operate. During my reading of your story i kept trying to figure out what this persona, jasmine was like. How she thought, what she would do in certain situations; is she a timid character, intelligent, irrational ect.  Even if these characteristics aren't fully developed within the beginning an idea should be produced. 
          
          Anyway as you have pointed out your attention to detail has changed, so prehaps you have picked up on this yourslef. You probably would have, i just couldn't help but think it would make the story a little more captivating.  
          I do hope you find my comments useful, I would love to see you improve and achieve an amazing story. I am hoping to read your work soon. 
          
          I have a question for you? why would you think anyone would mention vampires, you have made no acknowledgement of them within the story?
          Sorry it just confused me a little? 
          
          As for an immature comment what need would there be, i don't see any use in simply saying; this story sucks you should stop writing why did you even try? Or i love this story but it needs this... you should listen to me i know what i'm saying.
          
           Or something of that nature i could mention the unmentionable but you have made it clear that you despise it and i try not to be cruel... well not too cruel. I find these comments of no use to anybody, merely creates hassels and annoyance. 
          
          

hi there, just a second reply to you its been a few years since i last wrote anything in this ... i suppose you could call it a story and my imagination and attention to detail has changed somewhat since then i was just reading over what i had already written and honestly it doesnt even sound as though it came from me but anyway back to the point, as i was saying my attention to detail has changed somewhat and im thinking of just remaking this 'novel' but keeping the same characters the roles they play and many other things about it to the same storyline, as you may have noticed how it starts isnt all that good i plan to change that and try to capture whoever reads it within the first few lines
          
          but anyway i will post the rest of what i have left of this story on this account for your pleasure and create my own, once i have a few chapters written i'll post them on here useing my own account and delete it from this one
          
          the plans i have to change this one... im not sure how its going to start but i can garuntee it'll be worth reading :)
          
          PS: i thankyou again for not answering as an immature person would to something like this, too often does that happen and above all i thankyou for NOT mentioning vampires :D
          
          [nickname] strud