Officer: So you were caught - what was it again? Stealing from the local library?
Me: *putting down huge pile of books* uh...NO.
Officer: But I'm correct in thinking you're Jen?
Me: Ooh, you know my name! Does that make me famous? I'M FAMOUS! *turns to imaginary audience* Stop it, stop it; is that applause really necessary? Stop it. 
Officer: How old are you?
Me: You can't ask a girl how old she is. Okay, so I just gave away my gender. And no, I'm not sexist. I'm just your average, exam-hating, moody-as-hell teenager. Still want to get to know me? That's a rhetorical question.
Officer: Getting back to the point... Why would you steal from a library?
Me: Uh... I think the question is why WOULDN'T I steal from a library. I mean, come on. They're literally heaven incarnate. I'd live in that library if you hadn't just kicked me out of it.
Officer: I had no choice. You were -
Me: You had EVERY choice.
Officer: - stealing books, and when kindly asked to replace them, shouted -
Me: I didn't shout.
Officer: - anyone who tries to take books away from me can go to hell.
Me: Still proud of that.
Officer: I'm afraid I'm going to have to arrest you on suspicion of vandalising public property and abusing -
Me: Arrest me? ARREST ME? *takes up not-very-aggressive fighting stance* You can't arrest me, officer, because I AM DIVERGENT AND I CAN'T BE CONTROLLED!
*jumps out window*