Let's try that again.
Is what I tell myself while I stare at the shards of my so called dreams, the realization and personification of everything I had ever dreamed off before IT came into my life.
Or maybe IT was always there, knawing silently, yet so unbaringly loud, tainting every happy memory with the ink of a thousand crushed fountain pens we used to think would write our future.
Let's try that again
Is what that beast sitting on my shoulder murmurs, almost a conspiracy but against whom when not myself.
Let's try that again
when i put that fragile thing that I used to call hope near the edge, secretly wishing it will fall, nudging it when it doesnt.
I would like to blame IT for all that distruction, would like to say the fault was all but my own and IT, my melancholia was the conductor of the puppetshow I call my life, because that would mean this isnt my fault.
Let's try that again
what I say as I stare at a screen just as cold and blank as my mind, wishing for IT to reappear and torture me because pain creates art.
Let's try that again
