thisbihaaaaaaa
Greatest feeling rn is listening to Selena and reading fanfics
thisbihaaaaaaa
thisbihaaaaaaa
this message may be offensive
So I was listening to John Mulaney at 2:00 am right because yes
And like
I was feeling like I needed jeggy rn so
HoW tHeY mEt
John just got his drivers license at age 26
He Drives around the block and then starts parking by a street
Peggy comes to the car and knocks on John’s rented car window
He opens the window and Peggy says-
Peggy: Excuse me, Are you polish
John: No I’m Irish and French
Peggy as opens the back door of the 20 a day rental car: Please drive me three blocks
John: No
Peggy: Please I am so tired
John: You don’t understand I’m not a taxi driver
Then John wondered
Because he just got his drivers license
Is this something that just happens?
You know
At three in the fucking morning a probably drunk person asks you if your polish and for a ride
Do they not teach him this in driving school?
So John didn’t give the ride to Peggy
The next day~
John’s 20 a day rental car was sawed in half
Alex, John’s new neighbor walks by and says
“Yo what the fuck happened?”
“I don’t know I was just parking and some lady was standing there and-“ John was saying but was cut of by Alex saying
“Woah woah woah woah, did she ask if you where polish?”
“.......Yeah”
“You gotta give those people a ride, welcome to Brooklyn kid” Alex said as he walked away like nothing happened
Legit just copied and pasted a John Mulaney bit
I feel like a dick now
thisbihaaaaaaa
thisbihaaaaaaa
So basically my fried was calling the gc right
I answered but no one else was answering
So my friend was like
“Answer hoes ik ya’ll ain’t got nothin to do”
thank you for coming to my ted talk
thisbihaaaaaaa
Thx for following me back
thisbihaaaaaaa
Oou yw