Xen

HAPPY DISABILITY MONTH!!!

HI MY BEST FRIEND JUST DREW SOMETHING WONDERFUL THAT I GENUINELY THOUGHT WAS DONE USING A STENCIL FOR A SEC BUT IT'S NOT AND I'M AMAZED BUT THEY'RE COMPLETELY PLAYING IT OFF AND I'M JUST???? HELLO??????? SINCE WHEN??????

I don't wanna go to bed yet, I wanna sit down on my bed and be surrounded by plushies as I explore worlds not all that to a lot different than this one. I wanna drown in stories and universes and pretend that this life doesn't exist at all. I'll read until I feel myself no longer bothered by my problems, until I'm nothing but a mosaic of all the stories I've read

OH YEAH, HAPPY LATE PRIDE MONTH!!

I'm neurodivergent and my main love language is telling people information. It's kind of acts of service. 
          I explain shit All The Time and I do it because it's my way of telling them "Hey, I love you and I want you to be educated, so I'll share my knowledge with you" (It's like 'hey! I like this rock, this rock is cool, I'll give it to my friend') and yesterday I was talking with two of my classmates and I found out that the reason why most of my class dislikes me is because I do that. They dislike me because to them, what I'm doing is insulting and  rude. I didn't understand this until now. Good to know.
          
          I won't stop, but at least I understand people better.

POV: you've been friends with someone for a while and you really love them and then you notice they start kind of distancing themself and you notice the signs of them forcing themselves to be okay with you and you don't know what you did but now you know they don't like your company so you distance yourself from them and then you spend months trying to figure out what went wrong and then when you finally find out and apologise about the misunderstanding, they're already too set on their bad opinion of you and will not accept your apology and attempt at reconciling so you give up but now they have other friends who bully you and others and they don't do anything about it and you're not mean to them, you accept that they don't wanna talk to you so you avoid them and you never gossip or talk rudely about them behind their back, you don't call them names and you don't have a bad opinion on them, but now they're trying to convince other people not to be your friends and they've gone too far but you can't do anything and you're just there

Being binded to a body with living mortal flesh can be fucking terrible at times but there's the moments when you laugh so hard you cry or your stomach hurts and when you go to bed after a really long, exhausting day and your whole body relaxes before you fall asleep and when you eat after being hungry for a while and you eat the perfect amount, so you're not the almost sick kind of full but you're not hungry either and then there's moments like when you're with a friend in public and you're so comfortable with them that you don't even care who is around you or where you are or how you might seem to others and when something you might've not expected to go well does, so you feel so much pride and when you find that item of clothing at a store that you absolutely love and feel very comfortable in that you even start jumping from happiness and stimming like crazy and when you get that energy rush, so you do something you've been putting off and you do it flawlessly and quickly and when find a new story that fits *exactly* what you feel like reading in that exact moment so you read it in a much shorter amount of time than is probably healthy and then you go on a long rant, talking about it to that imaginary person and when you're up past midnight and you go outside and it's just so beautifully quiet and the sky is clear and sparkly and you just sit down on the pavement or grass and stare 
          
          I started writing and if I didn't stop myself, I would probably reach some kind of limit I didn't know of in my notes app

I've spent like 9 hours on a drawing over the last 4 days and it's not even near done. It's not even anything too advanced, I'm just drawing things I have never drawn before and it gets complicated 
          
          Anyway I just took a 2 hour long bath :D

HELLO :D
          I don't really understand why so many people still follow me even though I'm almost completely not active on here, but okay!
          So anyway, I had a depressive episode since the last time I checked Wattpad (like 2+ months ago) and now I'm back with quite a lot of energy (I'm going to regret saying this later) so I decided to ask you guys if you have any ideas on what to gift to someone you're close with, long-distance friendship and can't send mail for a 1 year since getting to know each other anniversary (:

Helloo, so I wanted to explain since some people are getting kind of worried.
          I haven't been online for a while now, but I'm fine. I was drained from social interactions for a bit and had to recharge, but school started and I haven't had enough time to *fully* recharge (even until now). This led me to cutting contact with a few people, which I regret, but I don't have the energy for the daily conversations we used to have. I don't have the energy to invest in other people, so I simply shut everyone out so they don't get hurt.
          This doesn't harm me or my mental health. I'm doing it *for* my mental health.
          I'll still answer if someone contacts me directly, so if you want something, feel free to message me (: