gone

please just let it be february again, i want to leave 

i just want to turn 23, is not as faraway as it seems. maybe i won’t need to turn 23 if people forget. i’m just waiting for february again

it’s kinda funny, how my mental health  keeps worsening and this page of mine is the best damn example for it,

i hate this i hate this i hate this
          

every single time i think of this one person my heart speeds up and start sighing and i feel so happy and so goddamn sad and scared and angry and betrayed. i want to make them happy but im just their best friend. they make me cry so fucking hard and so fucking much, but i still go back and i still look for them and try to be there for them when they clearly don’t need me. they’ve never needed me, and i feel so used because of the amount of times i’ve stayed up for them, the amount of times i lost sleep because i was worried about them, all the school days i could pay attention because i had to know if they were ok, and i keep coming back and hurting myself even more, in every sort of way. i often tell them i love them, and they say they love me more, and that makes me so angry, so fucking angry, how can you love me more???? do you cry yourself to sleep because of me? do you daydream about the time we’ve spent together??? do you take five seconds out of you day to even bother thinking about me??? do you stop almost anything if i need someone’s help?? no. you don’t. don’t say you love me more when you clearly don’t.

my heart hurts so fucking much, im sorry if anyone reads this but i’m not ok and cannot vent anywhere else

I hate this fucking account.

I was/am so fucking cringy at this site, holy shit I'm sorry lmao 

Me @ me:
          Consider this,,,
          
          Shut the fuck up

Ben and Pascal are so great, holy fuckkkk