this message may be offensive
I just wanted to talk with y'all about relationships with food, since this is such an important topic to me. There was a period in time that I used to binge eat. I was alone all the time, bored and in a bad mental state, so food like chips and biscuits was my main source of entertainment and happiness, giving me a quick dopamine each time. Eventually, I lost all my control to these snacks, eating in a bingey way (yk what I mean), and feeling sooo shit afterwards. But what's a better way to stop binging than start eating extremely little?! That's what my 14 year old self thought, and one day, I started restricting my food intake excessively. I would hide the breakfast I didn't eat, I ate extremely little and claimed I "no longer let food and snacks control me." But guess what? I was still as controlled and "scared" by sweets and snacks as when I was binging. It was ridiculous. I lacked in nutrition and I didn't realize it then, but i felt like shit AGAIN. Eventually, after long fights with myself and my family, I started snapping out of it, started eating normal amounts of food and calories again, without ever binging again. How? WITH PROPER NUTRITION, ENOUGH FOOD, GOOD MENTAL HEALTH AND A FULFILLING LIFE. I am so happy that I can now eat enough, try all kinds of tasty food, snacks and sweets in moderation, without letting food control or scare me for the first time in my life!!! I can now open a bag of chips and just eat some of it, and feel great afterwards, but I can also be so happy to eat the cinnamon roll that my mom bought me without thinking it is the devil himself. RECOVERING FROM DISORDERED EATING IS WORTH IT