There's no hope. Im raising hell with every breath. I only feel pain. I tried to follow my heart, but it's too broken to understand. If i had done anything different, i would have been better, i would have filled those gaps so he wouldn't need other lovers. I should be ashamed for this. For having not been good enough, i deserve this pain. All of it. It may just be 3 am depression, but something is missing. I haven't really eaten or gone outside. I've only slept, cried and read old "i love you"s. Im lost. Never to be found. Only to be forgotten.