apples

But anyway, I've rediscovered wolfstar fluffy oneshots
          
          And I've realized I could read the same oneshot trope a hundred times, that I'd almost prefer to read almost the same thing over and over. 
          
          Maybe I'll actually get an account on ao3.
          
          
          I also got 2 replies (since my last login... a very long time ago) to old comments I made in 2019 on a fic. I love when that happens. It's what I miss most about regularly using wattpad. The comments. 
          
          ❤

IT IS THE WRONG SEASON FOR BIG SAD
          
          But here I am, feeling suspiciously restless. 
          
          So, I am currently trying and sorting out pants, which meant I started shortening three pairs properly on a sewing machine and now the time is 10 pm. I don't like our sewing machine. I am in misery. 
          
          But at least I'll have pants the right length. 

Both Top Gun movies give me gender euphoria
          I want to learn the theme music so bad
          And make a shit cool power arrangement 
          Or find one pls
          Waaahhh!!!!

Well, time has caught up with me and I am back where I started. 
          
          At least on Wattpad. 
          
          I can (not really proudly) announce that I am, in fact, writing gay sex. 
          
          For the frerard writers, you taught me what I know about fictional sex, thanks

I have a lot of words that want to get out
          You guessed it: rant time!
          
          This time it is... a poem or a song or just some words that rhyme
          
          They are less direct and an easy way to get them out because you don't have to understand them or know exactly what you want to say
          
          And of course it is in swedish...
          
          
          
          
          Jag vill fly, jag vill vara nära
          Nära dig, men inte så som vi va'
          Tusen ord som jag aldrig sa
          Ord jag inte fann, då vi hade varann
          Då det fanns ett vi
          Nu är jag tom inuti
          Jag talande sanning, bara inte hela
          För alla tankar är inte lätta att dela
          Om du klandrar mig, gör så
          För min tystnad krossade oss två
          //
          Jag vill fly, jag vill vara nära
          Men det är så tungt att bära,
          Bära alla osagda ord inne
          Fast, som mig, i mitt sinne
          Jag ser dig, jag är blind 
          Tårarna rinner nerför min kind
          Kanske någon gång du komma åter
          Och att du min feghet förlåter
          Tvivel och ånger river mig itu
          För i mitt hjärta finns bara du
          //
          Jag vill fly, jag vill vara nära
          Men jag har mycket kvar att lära
          Jag vill erbjuda dig världen
          Men istället rev jag isär den
          Fångad i mitt sinne
          Det finns mycket där inne
          De vill ut, jag vill ut
          Snälla låt det ta slut
          Snälla släpp in mig,
          För jag vill släppa in dig

Rant again
          
          I am for some reason accidentally trying to fast forward through a reprise of my... less happy years
          
          Which included my sad playlist
          
          And young me was so... ruthless sometimes
          
          Here's the description:
          "Sad music for sad moments. You are not alone. JK You are very lonely and have only these tracks to company. Water your catuses with tears,"
          
          Well the music helps me, it kinda feels as if I'm channeling the tears and let them out. 
          
          At the same time, I find the sad lyrics even more relatable in new perspectives now than then. But I hope that's part of the process for the better
          
          *hugs*

i am alive and enjoying it
          and i hope that you, the one reading this, is enjoying life as well
          if not, keep fighting, it will all be worth it, trust me
          
          happy 2022 btw

Y'know the chatt on snapchat,
          Seeing the other persons bitmoji there is kinda awkward.
          Just like eye contact. 
          Thanks, bye <3

Sometimes parents call at less good times 

hi!!