tomtaeto
Writing here since no one sees this anymore.
I am an obese 22yo girl. I have PCOD and I am very disturbed from the inside.
I can't help that i love food. It brings me so much happiness. I came home from college for a few days and my mom saw me and the first thing she said was that i had gained a lot of weight but thats just my mom for you.
Now thats it been a few days and i know she wants me to loose weight because of health concerns and the concern that no guy will ever find me attractive. Its been going for a few days now and i am controlling and trying my hardest to eat less. We were changing to go out and she asked me if i had another outfit and i did so i tried it on. And she said "Oh they all look the same." In the sense that i look ugly and fat in all of them. See i can deal with the constant verbal abuse of all the fatshaming wveryone does to me but i just gained a small but of confidence in going out and wearing clothes i liked and thought i looked good in. I see myself in pictures and i crop my stomach because im so fat. But what my mom said hurt me so much. I told her im trying but she said im not. And im just so hurt. All the confidence i built while i was at college. Or with friends who made me feel comfortable in my skin. Even if they were lying, it felt so nice. But now its all gone. Im so scared to go out because im scared of all the people that will look at me and think i am ugly. And fat and obese. I cant even go out to get away because im scared of anyone seeing me. So i an currently, at home in my backyard hiding behind the water tank so that no one can see me and i can be away from all my sad thoughts.
