derryrot

you picked the movie last night. it's my turn. stop complaining.

derryrot

@trashedmouths   *   name ONE movie i've picked that's boring.
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  all the movies you pick are BORING.  if i wanted to watch that,  i’d just spend the day at stan’s house.  c’mon,  eds,  pleaseeee can we watch something substantial tonight?
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derryrot

i swear to god, you're an ipad kid. how long have you been playing... whatever that is?

derryrot

@trashedmouths   *   you're playing with bill? are you serious? you're both eight years old.
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  god forbid a man heals his inner child through modern technology and questionable age appropriate games.  i’m almost done but i can’t let bill beat me at this round,  he’d never let me live it down.
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derryrot

can we PLEASE order something other than pizza? if i eat one more slice of pizza i might die.

derryrot

this message may be offensive
@trashedmouths   *   no, asshole. we can order like... chinese or something. 
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  you’ll die a very happy man then!  but,  fine,  since you’re getting your panties in a twist about it,  we can order something new tonight.  what do you wanna order?  something healthy and boring like leaves?
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derryrot

where are we going? we've been driving  /forever/.

derryrot

@trashedmouths   *   can you at least tell me where we're going?
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  i’ve met dogs with more patience than you,  you know.  don’t worry your manic little head,  we’re almost there!  
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derryrot

/  ten minutes mind you
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derryrot

quit that. this is important stuff.

derryrot

@trashedmouths   *   the podcasts you listen to aren't real comedians. so here we are.
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  so is my sanity which i’m steadily losing the longer we listen to this stupid health podcast.  how do you even know if this guy is a real doctor? 
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derryrot

that's so disgusting. put that down.

derryrot

@trashedmouths   *   put it down or you can sleep on the couch tonight because i don't want whatever disease this gives you.
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trashedmouths

@derryrot  oh,  c’mon eds,  it’s just a [stick] — a very… slimy,  and — hairy ? — stick!
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