nattawin

Pedih mat
          Bila kau tahu yang bukan kau sorang je send chat kat dia tapi ramai. 
          Tak boleh nak expect apa. 
          Sebab dia friendly dengan semua orang.
          Perempuan senang suka dia.
          Apa je yang dia tak cukup?
          Sumpah pedih giler bila kau dapat tahu bukan engkau sorang je dia nak reply tapi ramai lagi.
          Menusuk ke jantung mat.
          Rasa sakit tu hanya Allah je tahu.
          
          
          Aku jugak yang cakap nak tunggu dia. Tapi aku tak mampu. Dia macam langit dengan bumi. Dia terlalu tinggi untuk aku capai. Aku hanya boleh lihat dia dari jauh. Aku hanya boleh berharap dia update life dia dekat Facebook. 

So i woke up at 4 am again because of him. Dear Allah, it's been a year. I love him too much until i cry. He is the only one who can make me cry. Usually I sleep at 9 a.m. because I have insomnia, but yesterday I didn't know how I could fall asleep so suddenly. The urge to text you Why? Why am i the only one who can't move on just like the way you did? Please. I'm begging you, God. Let me be with him. Ah, he's the right man for me.
           
          It's been three days since I've had a weird attitude. I've slept talking to my teddy bear, just like the teddy was alive. I ask the teddy to hug me but then i woke up it's looks like it's really hug me. Am I having an illusion?

Hey i already come back from Japan. It's been 1 year im in Japan. A lot if things happened to me lol. One month ago, it's his birthday lol. Can't believe i can't move on from tht mf. Shit. Im losing my mind just for him.

Then I made a lot of friends in Japan from different countries, and I rejected a lot of guys just because of him. TF right. Then I told my friends in Japan about my relationship, and she came up with a brilliant idea, and yeah, this is what she said. Hello h****, it's already night and I hope you have a good night. I'm going to be really serious right now, but do you really like me and want to be in a relationship? I know you will say that you really like me and all, but honestly, actions speak louder than words. If you really like me, then try to treat me right. If you really want me, then learn how to. I know it is your first relationship and you don't know how to act, but please at least show that you actually try and you want to make this work. I'm so tired and I can't be like this at all anymore. If you really like me, please act like it. If you are tired and can't do all of this, we can just wrap things up and go on with our lives. I'm asking it again. Do you really like me and want to be in a relationship with me? If you want, then try to act right, and if you don't want, we can separate. Thank you so much and I hope you understand. I love you so much and I want you to know it. And i waiting for 7 hours for his reply. 

So today is the second week after we broke up. To be honest, I'm frustrated with him because he makes me lose touch with other boys. I got a straight A+ in my exam, but he's not. OMG SO STUPID. Let's Give You Guys A Briefing On My Graduation Day. Honestly, on June 16th, I woke up late around 9.30am because all of my friends were nervous about the results. Meanwhile, I felt nothing, probably because I'll go to Japan next week. Then, I just wanted to know my results first before going to school, so I checked them on the KPM website and, tadaa, straight A+ and I decided to post them on social media. To be honest, I was screaming, then I cried because I didn't expect to get a straight A+. My parents both go to a clinic to get my brother vaccinated. Then I go to school with my bestie. Yeah, to be honest, I'm kinda arrogant. Who cares? I'm proud of myself. Then when the teacher announced my name, I was kind of shocked because a lot of guys were screaming my name. OMG DAMN GURL PLS-Then yeah, I'm going out with my bestie. To be honest, our plan is to celebrate if we fail on our results, but yeah, both of us got the same results, so HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Then later that night, my BF asked me about the course that I wanted to take and I just said "don't know." Then I asked him about his results and he said yeah, 4A I think. Then, before I went to Japan, I asked him if he loves me or not, and he said yes, I love you, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, bla And he said no, he didn't and actually he wanted a girlfriend who could be clingy with he most of the time. So yeah, EVERY FUCKING WEEK I MESSAGED HIM, Even Though I'M Fuckking BUSY AND HE JUST END THE TOPIC IN 1 MINUTES.

So 4 days ago, I'm having a hard time. It's started with i messaged him that how's his day. And tbh after my confessions I didn't messaged him at all almost like 1 months unless my  friends ask me cuz' she knows I'm bad when it's comes to love someone. So like i said i ask about sch things and then he just replied to me that he must go to tuition and yeah i just said ok sorry to disturb you but he casually said that his teacher must be late. And i just thinking about to stop messages him and then he said it's okay to chat him. Then i just ask him about sth then he got angry like "don't disturb me i want to studying" and me be like tf-_-  and here i am felt really sucks. My bestie asked me what i like about him and she said i can't said that i fall in love with him just because he's intelligent or cute. Then i just told her that i liked him because of he's attitude towards me when I'm grade 7 and i forgot about the attitude he showed towards me then she ask me what's the things he makes me feels butterfly? But then whenever i think about it idk. Ugh:)) 

AND BOOM. Fuck. He accepted me. THE NO WAY FUCKING HELL. LIKE HE WROTE TO ME A SINCEREST WORDS I'VE EVER SEEN. AND HE'S BEING HONEST TO ME ABOUT HIS WEAKNESS. FUCK THAT MAKES ME WANNA CRY AND I REALLY SHOUTING AT SCHOOL LIKE HELL WHO DOESN'T WANT YOUR CRUSH TO LIKE YOU BACK RIGHT!? So after that i writing the message to him and told him that i will be waiting for him to succeed in his own life and we'll thinking about our relationship in more detail after that.. After that, the entire day i still thinking about him like i just can't believe it. I did it. I FUCKING DID IT AND I JUST GOT ACCEPTED. AHHHHHHHHHH SO EXCITED.. Btw I'll update if anything happened to me after this. Mn that's all i want to say thank you for reading this
          
          
          
          
           -a

Okayyyyyyyy i'm so excited to tell you guys about this 2 weeks ago i decided to confess to my crush no matter what happens. I know it's so suddens but here I'm gonna tell you guys how i doing it. It's Wednesday in the morning, suddenly i wake up at 3.30 am and i just woke up from the nightmare i usually have so i decided to take a shower cause' at 8 I've to go to extra class at school. After i take a shower, suddenly I've got a total confident that i must confess to him. It's take me an hour to truly thinking that i must take this opportunity and ask him about me. So yeah as fyi I'm such a coward girl when it's comes to talk to him or chat him. Then, I've been watching a tiktok and i remember that one guys confess to his crush through the google form so yeah. At first, i think it's cringe and ahhhhhhhhh I'm so shy but still i go for it. Then, at 5.45am maybe i sent to him my Google form and i really nervous about it because i know after this big exams i will not see him because automatically i will go straight to Japan about 10 months to studying the culture at there. But at least, i didn't want to regret my decision tho. I can't wait anymore. Anyway after i sent it to him, it's really makes me overthinking like what to do if he rejects me, i know he must have a lot of secret admirer too and ofc he must've his crush too right? After that, i decided to go to school at 8.45am. After i arrived tbh i told my bestie about my confessions and it getting on my nerves So skip the details about my studying time in class, at 10am when all of us are allowed to go to rest on ourselves i decided to check it out the results 

Hey mind to read my fanfic when you're free? Thanks darl ❤☁️
          
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/278457631

Hello! Thank you so much for the follow! I wish you an amazing day/night ahead wherever you are! ❤️ Take care, ok?