Ember

My semester for school is ending in a couple weeks. Might try to go back to writing after that, I really miss it my English class this year just really fucked me over (17 days left!!)

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Imma be honest guys, idk if there's gonna be another update. I want there to be. I want to finish the story. But my English class this year and the bullshit my teacher has repeatedly pulled has made me hate writing. I cry at the thought of trying to write and I have several missing assignments in just that class because I can't bring myself to write. 
          
          I'm hoping I'm wrong and that I'll be able to come back and finish but honestly right now it isn't looking very likely 

POV: Ember broke a nail today and had money so ember got their nails redone

Why do I keep doing this to myself....

I'm sorry that I am always the problem.
          
          I'll just shut up, and disappear into the background
          
          Just like I was always intended to do so that I wouldn't be a burden, your burden, everyone's burden. 
          
          It was never my intention but it always seems to be my achievement.

I love when I finally start doing better everything goes to shit again.
          
          Why is everything I do wrong?
          
          And why does everyone keep reminding me.

I just found out you can see the like demographics on your stories (like age, gender, and country lived in of the readers)??? how long has this been a thing???

TW: Partially a vent. Depression, Suicidal Thoughts, Mental/physical health
          
          Yall imma be entirely honest, I want to finish Wrong Side Of The Tracks. I love the plot and the idea I have for it and the idea I had going into it. I also want to write more stories to post for you guys. 
          
          However, that is going to take a very long time to do. 
          
          I have been having a major mental health crisis for the past several months and it's gotten so bad where I am struggling day to day just to keep myself alive. I'm having issues with getting myself to eat, drink water, and get out of bed. 
          
          I'm having issues with standing for long periods of time and moving around in this heat (it's still like 100°F in Denver), and I can hardly go 10 minutes without feeling like I'm going to pass out. 
          
          On top of that I'm starting the second week of my Senior Year and it's becoming more and more clear how bad of a person I am to be around so I am cutting myself out again. 
          
          I will update my stories again (eventually) but it will take a while. I need to focus on my health and my life before I can focus on my stories. 
          
          I will try to post regular updates on my message board just so yall know I'm like not dead but you can always reach out to me here or on discord (trulee.emberrr) 
          
          I know that no one really cares since I've been falling off this app for a while but I just wanted to say something because I know what its like to be terrified because someone just disappeared.
          
          I love you guys stay safe <3

Got half way done with painting my senior pants, had to wash them before I could move on to do the other side.
          
          One side got completely fucked up in the wash and now I gmhave to start over. I have 2 weeks until the first day of school. 
          
          These ones aren't going to be painted it will be vinyl. I don't have time to paint another pair of pants (I have already been working on them for 2 weeks and that was just for half of them)
          
          I am beyond pissed off right now. I really want to have these pants and I really wanted to paint them because I mean that's what you do right? 
          
          I really hope I can finish this new pair in time for the first day of school or I will actually have a fucking breakdown because I have put so much effort into doing this.