.

what does he have that i don't? I'm killing my feelings for you. you're not worth it anymore.

feeling nauseous a lot.

I'd reach into your body and fix you if i could.

i haven't smoked in a while too. should i smoke tomorrow? since I'm meeting her again? i hope it won't be too cold.

I can't tell if my brain's deceiving me into believing I don't like her that way, that much anymore— or if i actually don't like her that way, just a friend. ugh.. redheads.

21.

i feel like

ugh.. this place.

أنت لا تعرف كيف تُحلّ مشكلة، ثم تُحلّ.
          لا تعرف كيف ستنجح، ثم يكتمل الأمر.
          تقلق بشأن شيءٍ ما، لكنك تعرف دائمًا تمامًا ماذا تفعل حين يحدث.
          كلّه فظيع، ثم ينتهي،
          ويعود ليطفو من جديد،
          ثم يكون…
          ويكون جميلًا.

I'm giving up on you. a love that only takes can never be respected.