@ty_is_my_bae
I hate exams. Edexcel acting as if we've been studying for our GCSEs since Yr 7 cause wtf was that math paper 1. Why was I struggling on the first question. Literally opened the booklet, saw the first question and closed it back up. Keep me in your prayers cause its not looking good for me
I know the pain Passed my literature IGCSEs last week, the drama question was literally so f*cked up
Sat my first mocks ever today, english and geography . . .
Safe to say I didnt do that bad as I managed to waffle my way through 4 pages of writing about generational devide in the spam of 45 minutes.
Also my conclusion was some bs about how people need to accept change and change their views instead of being stuck in their ways (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`).
Wish me luck on my math exam, history exam and music exam tomorrow. ಠ_ಠ .
Not that anybody cares but I had such a good last two weekends :)
So two weeks ago we went and saw my mums partners brother and his fam. We havent seen them in suuuchhhh a long time and I was really happy for him because I know family is important. Then went and had dinner with his daughters. And it was just sooo nice to see his family and to spend some quality family time.
Then this weekend that just passed was also great. On Friday I went to my aunts house cause my dad was baby sitting my 2 younger cousins (one is 10 the other 3 nearly 4). And omigod I love them both SO much. I didnt even get a chance to take my coat off before the younger one jumped onto me refusing to let go. Then me and the 10yr old gave the younger one a bath and it's the cutest thing ever watching those two bond becauee they argue a lot cause the elder one loves to annoy the younger one. Then I helped her get dressed and my dad made her milk.
She then made me get into her bed with her and I read her a story and SHE FELL ASLEPPP. And istg THAT WAS THE CUTEST THING EVERRR. And when she feel asleep the 10yr old leaned down and gave her a kiss on the head and my heart was like 'ok people we doing somersaults today'. Thdn me and the elder one took two blankets, one to sit on and one to cover ourselves with and watched a movie. I know its not much but this has always been our way of bonding because while the younger one is awake she always wants my attention and the elder one just goes of and does her own thing cause it's hard to have a convo with her when the younger one is butting in every 5 seconds. Obviously we still do but just not as much as when the younger one is asleep. So watching movies together when shes asleep has always been our thing.
And then when I was leaving she gave me a massive hug which really surprised cause shes not a huggy person at alll.
I love them both SO SO SO much <33
Ok so please tell me whether I am in the wrong or not.
I was in and extra math lesson after school cause I'm a nerd and all that and I'm sitting next to my friend. We were doing this worksheet and I was picked to do the question on the baord so I did it and then it was my turn to pick someone and I picked my friend who I was sitting next to. Obviously he didnt want me to pick him just as nobody else in the classroom wanted to get picked. He hasn't actualy finished the question that he was meant to answer but I thought he was going to be fine since he was one of the smartest kids in the year and I gave him my sheet with the answer. Then he got back and he didnt seem mad and we were even joking around. Maybe I judged the situation wrong but istg we were joking around and he was laughing.
Then when I got home he sent me a message that he is mad at me and that I I embarrassed him infront of the whole class and teacher and that I'm not even sorry.
And I try to explain to him that I am sorry and I would never intentionally embarrass him or do that to anyone cause that's just a mean thing to do.
Am I in the wrong here and if I am or not what should I do cause I dont want him to be mad at me :(
@Hufflepuff_Child I mean you can say that you don’t understand what you did wrong but you probably already did that but there is a change that he is testing you (it would be really mean if he did that but it’s always possible) a friend of mine did that once and now we’re no longer friends because we got in a fight but if he keeps saying that you know what you did than I think you need to let him go otherwise it will become a toxic friendship but that what I think :) Btw I’m doing good cause I’m watching Hawkeye right now :DD
And then he started comparing me to some other friend he had who he had an argument with and now they're not friends was like "why should I believe you". And I hate people who make a big deal out of things that arent (not thst I'm saying this isn't a big deal because to him it might have been but I still dont see the point of dragging it out to much) or cant talk out their problems becauee that's the only way you are gonna get to a solution.
Or maybe its just being really insensitive. I've only been friends with him for about a month while I have other friends who I've known for 3+ years and those friends who I've known for a longggggg time we've never argued and if we had a problem we ALWAYS talked it out rationally.
And I dont wanna make this about myself but it just kinda hurt me that he thought that I would do something like that on purpose to hurt him or anybody else because I would never embarrasses anyone like that on purpose. Obviously I didnt say this because I dont wanna make him feel guilty when technically I'm the one who hurt him first and started this.
So ig we resolved it and we are back to normal and I'm gonna act like I always do but I'm just gonna think twice before I say stuff and do stuff cause I kinda lost my trust in him a bit. Like it isnt his fault but I dont wanna risk getting attached to someone if they are gonna constantly question me and if I'm their friend or not. I understand that trust issues are hard but I cant fix them for you if your not prepared to try urself. Like I'm more than happy to help you work through them but I cant fix them for you and I dont have to put myself through them and deal with all this anxiety. I know it might make me sound like a crappy person but mentally and physically I'm just to tired to do that. So yhhhhhh.
But it's all ok now:)
Btw thank you for replying to me in the first place because it really helpedddddd. I hope you had a great day btwwee xxx
<33
(Pt2)
@IHaveToMuchFandoms So basicalyyy, (I'll try to explain this as best as I can and hope it doesnt sound like a bunch if mumble jumble if u see what I mean lmaoooo) Anywaysss, when I walked into class he seemed ok and we acted like normal but we didnt really talk about what happened cause the lesson was with one of those teachers that you cant talk to much or you get in trouble but we did make jokes like we normally do which really confused me cause I thought he was made at me. Then the next lesson we had was more chill so then we talked and I said to him i dont even understand what i did wrong, because I wanted to understand what I did so I don't repeat the same mistake and he was like and these were his exact words 'you know what you did'. And to this point I still domt understand because I cant read minds but I didnt wanna say that directly to him because I dont wanna invalidate his feelings. And then he started saying how he suppresses his feelings and stuff and was taught by his parents he needs to man up and stuff so I understand that but it's just hard for me to be friends with someone like that and I honestly dont think what I did was a big deal because he did questions on the baord before without a problem before but indent wanna sound insensitive. I dont wanna call him problematic because I understand to him it might have been a big deal but i already apologised but he just kept dragging it on (yesterday when we were texting) and he just said some shit like "I dont think I'll ever do anything for you again" and that kinda hurt. (Pt1)
I wanna cry because I cut my hair a few weeks ago (for reference it was up to just below my breasts and now it's up to above my shoulder) and now I'm looking at photos and regretting it so fucking much cause I look like shit with short hair compared to when I had long :(
@lvminaires @AkaOnyx it's not that it looks ugly although it kinda does but it's just that I regret cutting because it looked soo nice but now it just looks ehhhh but thank you soo much because that honestly made me feel better <33 :)
awwww no, but I’m sure it’s only insecurities. You’d look beautiful even if you were bald :) you look gorgeous and I can feel it Ilysm <33
Will you check out my story Fix What's Broken?
ITS COMING HOMEEEE <33
(Part 2)
But sometimes when I see her standing with her sister, her mum and her step-dad I feel like crying because this is something I want. Parents that truly love each other, a sister that will love you unconditionally and a family that would drop eveyrhing to make you feel safe. And dont get me wrong I am forever grateful for what I have because my mum is happy with her partner who is truly amazing. My dad is better then he used to be. And I have a great aunt who loves me and two younger cousins who brighten up my days.
But sometimes I think of what it would be like to have that illusion of a perfect family even though I know that I will never have.
But I thank god every day for the life I have becaue even though I never had any sisters he has given me two beautiful replacements who I can only hope one day will realise how much I truly love them.
@Hufflepuff_Child I get it it's difficult to remain real in a world as saturated as this but to be honest u have the most perfect family because... They love u and that's all that matters And I totally relate about the false reality like I said it's hard to remain real but when u r real it's the most amazing thing ever And u being vulnerable just makes u more real and raw and I'm sure so many people feel heard rn And as for the comment, I have no life and don't thank me My messages are open too and I give okay ish advice Love ya big sis and take care xxx
@DIA_BORAH I know theres no such thing as a perfect family and I know that even their family isnt perfect but sometimes you cant help but imagine. What you said about the imperfections truly making it home is the truest thing I've heard. It's just that sometimes you cant help but visualise what it would be like with a perfect life but I know that perfect isnt reality. I cant thank you enough for writing something so nice and kind, it really made my dayyyy. My messges are always open if you ever need help and I'll gladly have you as my little sis any dayyyy xxx
@Hufflepuff_Child olive listen u deserve the world and more. I'm always always available to talk and I'm sure ur cousins can see in ur eyes how much u love them. Ur a beautiful soul Trust me when I say that and as for a perfect family, it doesn't exist every family is perfect in its imperfect way. The imperfections are what make it... home I'm always here to talk and I'm officially claiming u as my elder sister, take care love u loads <3
Time to ventttttt to people online the things that I would never say irl : )
I've never had any siblings but I always wanted them though. I dont know what it is about them. I think it might be the unconditional love that you receive. You could be a failure and no matter what they will still love you. Their like a friend for life except that they cant leave you and that's what makes the difference.
The nearest thing I have to siblings are my two younger cousins. They honestly bring colour to my world whenever I see them. They always make me play with them, run around in the park, jump on the trampoline and they make me feel like a child again.
They make me laugh and smile and I'm so grateful for them.
And my aunt is one of the most selfless people I ever met. She is also my god mother and has always been to me like a second mum. She has stuck with me through thick and thin literally and has always been there for my dad when things got tough and never turned her back away. I will internally be grateful to her.
And today was the elder one out of the two holy communion. And sitting in that bench seeing her stand in her white dress smiling with her hair curled and pinned to perfection I could never be prouder. That girl deserves the world and so much more.
(Part 1)
Guess who should be studying for a test because it's their first time doing a higher paper math test but instead they're on wattpad . . .
@musketiertje2 unpopular opinion but its actually great if you undertand what's going on . . . If you dont then ur the definition of fucked . . .