unabletoreach-

Hi. Saya macam terfikir ada ke a man that will love me as easily as breathing... Yang mampu bertahan dan perjuangkan 'kita' ;(( i feel sad terfikir benda ni sebab i tahu im not that worth to fight for kut kan

When love visits again, may it be from Allah, Halal, safe, secure, genuine & reassuring.

AHAHHAHA SERABUTLA MIMPI PUN TETIBA MIMPI MU NI??!!! yang kelakarnya semalam mimpi laki ni pakai cap merah, baju hitam lengan pendek and showing a bit of his biceps :p pastu ko senyum senyum manis lak dekat aku????????? Ni a few mins before 5am
          
          Lepas tu harini mimpi ws si h (after a longgg time i tak mimpi about him) i asked him if he wants to marry me or not. Like im propose him. Pastu he nonchalantly kata aku ada option lain ke. Tapi dia accept je kahwin dengan aku???? Then we hold handssss--- just pinky finger. And gelak comel comel pastu i terbangun sebab perasan bilik terang. Pukul 3.47am la ek. Haihhhhhh

Kenapa i always ada unresolved anger issue dengan mak i ;( i feel bad buat macam tu dekat my mom but i tak tahu nak translate this anger feeling to something understandable :((

Tak ingat if ive done some entry for the type of my dream man ke belum-- but lets renew the contracttt!
          
          +He must be tinggi 7-10cm more than me.
          
          +He is my source of knowledge, without belittling my curiosity.
          
          +It is either same age or 3 to 4 year age gap... I takleh la muda dari i walaupun it makes me feel muda- tapi i rasa macam nanti i pula jaga dia ;) i want him to have a mature mindset and include me in everything he planned for the future. Meaning that; me and ONLY me. Its kinda like you own me. 
          
          +Reserved energy, i okay je kalau dia nak berkawan dengan wanita lain, tapi tahu batas... Sebab kalau i boleh, kenapa tak dia? 
          
          +I tak kisah pun you kaya ke tak sebenarnya. Tapi i nak you rajin and know how to initiate things first. Wujudkan apa yang perlu dulu. 
          
          +Physically good. Badan tegap is a bonus :o likeeeeee you got dada bidang and bisep untuk i bersandar,,,, a must xp 
          
          +Speak very mindly, treat other woman respectfully and be a gentleman. Maybe i do like a man who is a feminist a bit. And witty worthy like jongin. Mindful in his word like jongin and yuta. (Saying their names for thr reference btw)
          

Becoming a man of my dream

Man down, man down. He dah kenal someone rupanya. I back off la kalau begitu. I doakan yang terbaik untuk mereka berdua *wink wink.
          
          I was so cool telling all the things in my head sebab i dah tak sanggup la lama lama nama kamu berlegar legar. Serabukkkk. Buat kerja pun duk sengih sorang. 
          
          But things yang widad cakap tu betul. Maybe i like the idea of him in my head sebab i dont know him lagi. Nevermind, im going to keep myself being a manhater and love them the deepest when the time comes!
          
          When? Entahle. Tapi tulah. Bila dah ada rasa romantis ni, tiba tiba lak tak reti nak independent. I mean,,, chill kak gurl. You tak ingat ke you siapa?!

Recap 2025:
          
          Career; Starting off with being a ss at klts. Pastu tukar to kyp. Lepas tu sakit otak dekat situ sebab budaknya tak dengar cakap sangat. Not a fan of telling things multiple times. Resign 24 jam sebab kerja yang next ni, i termakan kata lady boss. Got interviewed untuk jr mlt pos but then the ladyboss being grumpy and always gaslight-- i cuma buat kerja tu macam i tengah intern. Then got another iv-- mula tu i taknak pergi sebab i rasa tak cukup duit. Lepas tu kakak and laki dia tolong hantar gi sana. Alhamdulillah for that. And alhamdulillah dapat kerja in this bidang semula.
          
          

Do something do bal. Please do something...

Memang memalukan la. Ni kalau dia buat background research ni, aku elok gali kubur je do. Semua aib aku dari muda dekat sini.