discord: unicornhorse160#1050

two years ago i looked back at this acc and saw it as cringe.  i still kept it up as a testament to the person i once was
          now i look at this acc and see evidence of life and someone who cared very deeply.  i will continue to keep it up as a testament to the person i have always been
          
          it's a personal monument atp
          
          
          
          EW GROSS A SAPPY POST?  yeah a sappy post it's sappy hours pookies (watch me drop off the face of the earth for another year)

Hi love :3

love how i drop off of the face of the earth and come back and say hi to friends from years ago (do y'all even remember me) like it's not been years
          um
          fuck
          yeah

rereading some of my rants and WOW i was not healthy.  really really hard to read lmao.  i remember thinking i was a horrible fake bitch.
          i was not
          um
          i was feeling that bad.  i'm worried that i'll feel that bad again.  i've been spiraling recently.
          but i'm alive.  i made it.  i'm getting myself help before it gets bad.  it's okay to get help.  people won't be mad at you for getting help.  and you're not faking.  you're not fabricating.
          please make it.  please.  you can make it.
          these words always sounded so cheap to me.  but i lived it.
          it's nearly 5 am.  so if you're wondering if i ever still struggle.  hell yes i do.
          i need to remind myself sometimes.  that i have made it before.  and i will do it again
          you can do it
          i can do it too
          i will be okay
          i think that i want to be okay
          and i think that the wanting is one of the most important parts.

ok so I'm not able to get wattpad on a computer (I'm on my phone) but like just for the record I was born January 2005 so I am 18+ now (and I will continue to be 18+ for the rest of my life) so like if it'd make you uncomfortable to interact, that's ok.  and if you're under 16 I'm gonna refrain from explicit talk (such as "omg I want him to break my back" and "holy shit I'd literally pay for him to spit in my mouth." or "you know I'd swallow for this man" and worse).
          
          anyway just to reiterate: I'm old.  interact in an sfw capacity only (I'll do the same) if you wish to remain ageless or if you're a kiddo (under 16)

holy shit I forgot how angsty I was lmao

ANYWAY SO THIS BITCH (my dad) is not only a cheating liar ass fuckhat, he has never been a dad to me.  like the most time he's spent with me were the years in elementary school when he'd drive me to school in the morning because my mom couldn't.  and he. never. initiated. conversation.  it was on me (6-11 year old kid) to:
          -iniate conversation
          -keep conversation going
          and idk about you but really.  bitches amiright
          anyway so in sophomore year (covid year when everything was shut down) I lost:
          -my dog
          -my granddad
          -my mouse
          -my NEIGHBOR'S dog who I'd known my entire life
          -a close family friend's dog who I'd known since I was like.  8.
          so technically 4/5 were animals and 2 weren't even my pets don't @ me, I felt so shitty regardless
          so sophomore year was a hellfuck of a time.
          during that hellfuck time I got my cat (she was a stray that nobody claimed, not chipped, not spayed, not declawed, no posts about a missing cat thst matched her description—we spayed and chipped her but declaring is inhumane we didn't do that.)  and we got two of the puppies (who are actually like 2 now so not really puppies anymore).  anyway point
          and THEN that CHRISTMAS we found out my dad, walkless little BITCH that he is, was sending flowers to an old ex girlfriend!  (he can't walk but I'm allowed to shame him for it because it's his own fault for never FUCKING trying and for becoming a sedentary pile of flesh after he lost his job.  asshole fuckwad)
          so he's cheating but! my mom doesn't divorce him because she wants me and my sister to have a "father figure" (and because if they divorced she'd have to pay for all his shit because he's a useless pos and he does nothing and she doesn't want that money to be taken from me and my sister because she worries about money alot).
          I digress

holy shit it's been so long
          i been moved to ao3 (it was me i moved myself, ao3 tagging system and no ads my beloved.  however i really miss the conversations tab and the interactivity of wattpad, it's way easier to make friends here) and i have a cat and another cat and three dogs and two birds and a beehive and my dad is a fucker and my mom is not a fucker 8th grade was just hella bad.
          anyway if you wanna listen to me complain about shit, next post (not gonna announce it tho)
          if you don't wanna listen, valid and i hope you have a wonderful day/night <3

HELLO SO:
          i'm a dirty liar and i'm not back and i probably never will be, HOWEVER if you wanna hmu or if you ever need anything, my discord is unicornhorse160#1050.
          is it dumb to give random people on wattpad of all websites my discord?  hell yes.  do i really care?  nah.
          i'm also on tumblr (my blog is incomprehensible hell please do not look for me except for under dire circumstances) as unicornhorse160 (of course) and ao3 (also as unicornhorse160).
          anyway, i hope everyone is well!  love y'all <3
          
          ~unicornhorse160

kiss my tongue, make everything better
          show me you'll be with me forever
          but even if it's heart to heart
          YOU HATED ME FROM THE START
          happy days will never be granted
          now you know my thoughts have gone rancid
          even if it's never said
          I know it's true
          YOU WANT ME DEAD 
          
          
          
          Too much angsty ghost?
          Kthxbye