hey guys.
i guess i should explain certain parts supporting my long absences.
lately, i've begin to think of myself as inferior. lower than everyone else.
my self-esteem is low, i feel like my grades are too low even though i'm known as a straight-A student with honors, and i feel like i'll never be good enough.
and i've honestly had enough of my sister. i love her, but all she does is encourage to discourage. she says i can't read music but tells me to join band. she constantly says how i need to be nicer when i'm explaining that i'm trying. she says i should be in higher classes just to say things like "no wonder you're in such low classes." when i just say one comment. she constantly tortures me yet brings me back up and it makes me go from depressed to happy to depressed all over again. when i'm absent on here, i'm sorry; but sometimes i need my own space. in the beginning, if you were here since my first story (WTTM), i was extremely active. that was because i was in a much happier, much calmer time.
also, my friends. i'm kinda confused on where i stand with them as well.
and to the one i'm in love with, i'm sorry if u ever have to see me like this.
i love all of you followers and readers, trust me on that. but sometimes i'm just too "tired" to continue on some days. "tired", as Riley Matthews puts it. sorry if i don't update after this, but yeah. i'm just really fed-up with all this crap. i love you guys. stay amazing.
-mur
