Beth

If you don't want to talk, fine. But know that you caused this. You caused all of this. And I lied. I fucking lied, okay? I'm pissed off at you. I'm mad. I'm angry. I'm fuming. If this is goodbye; it's goodbye forever. And you don't understand. You fucking idiot. I hate you so much because i love you so much, and now it has to change to "loved". You caused this. I'm mad. And you have no fucking right to wallow in your self pity. Fuck off.

My Best Friend might be moving away and i'm terrified to face Senior Year on  my own. Or even be without her, because I know after this we'll probably lose each other. Since her parents won't allow her to see me, and we're not very good at communicating via messaging. I'm just. I'm sad, i'm scared, and i'm hopeless now.

I truly had a Christmas Miracle happen to me today. Happy Holidays, everyone. Hope it was good day, no matter what you celebrate.

@rejectedlesbian No

I found some pictures of you in my phone today. One had a caption, "sorry babe". Were you ever sorry? My friends wanted to know why I was crying. I couldn't tell them about what you did to me.

I hate looking back on our conversations because it seems like you loved me and you fucking didn't and I don't know how you kept up that facade for so long and it was just long enough to break my fucking heart and now you don't even CARE AND IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR NONE OF IT'S FAIR. Every time i see the name Heather I have to look away because I get choked up about what we used to have and I fucking miss you so much and every time i see something funny a little thought passes through my head saying "I should show that to Heather" and then I remember that you're gone. That you left me. That you never want to talk to me again. And I don't know why and i'll never know why And it's fucking killing me but I have to be okay because nobody's here to support me like you did and I fucking miss you even though i'm not allowed to I fucking miss you so much. I just want my best friend back. Turns out I never had one and I can't accept that. Why did you lie? I'm fucking lonely.

Digging a pit of loneliness and I need someone to take the shovel from me.
          
          (Talk to me i'm trying to be poetic about it pls ily)

You loved abandoned things so much you decided to make your own

I wish I knew why you didn't love me.

Falling asleep to the sound of my love's breathing. Love tonight. xx