uppermoontwo

iris

uppermoontwo

can't even leave longer. shame on me, thought i would be breaking the habit but i still came. i will no longer leave because i have so many things to write and share, but i wasn't able to do that because of some misconcept in my life. maybe fate brought me here for some reasons, maybe it was destined to me ever since i've started to create a path for my so-called passion into writing. 
          
          tbh, i couldn't read some of my novels i bought last year because i have been busy doing my school stuffs, and having my mental health in a very risky state because of the traumas i have had in the past that i cannot let go. so, it affects the flow of my willingness to read those novels i could even open. the thing also is i'm trying to expand and be capable of using unfamiliar words so that i won't be redundant when it come to prose or poems (if you can call it poem), i'm still beginner and lack of experiences. 
          
          a woman who always procrastinate because she finds it comfortable and relaxing until one day, her world crumpled and her anxiety begins. i might be sound stupid and exhausting but that is the truth, why hide it right? if i could even handle my own emotions and mentality, maybe i would more productive and active person. well, least expect it because i am not.
          
          I'M GONNA BRING IT UP, THE COLLECTIONS WILL BE CONTINUED. WILL UPDATE SOON OR SO... STILL NOT WRITING ANYTHING NEW BUT EXPECT SOMETHING ONE OF THESE DAYS, I SWEAR! :))))

uppermoontwo

my 30th chapter is already here! So happy to share this because it is actually meaningful to me. i made this in classroom while watching my classmates because at some point i feel sad knowing the time's limited so i'm making the best out of it.
          I just published "shallow heart" of my story "you flower, you feast : My Collections". https://my.w.tt/C8cEEshzv3

uppermoontwo

it get colder each night,
          blankets are not enough to keep me warm.
          staring in this darkness,
          i feel unsafe and unprotected,
          what if they come?
          
          was i able to live the life
          He meant for me,
          or was i made of fear and emptiness inside?
          is life become more meaningful than this room,
          because i was hoping for more.
          
          i want the happines and the tears of joy,
          without holding back myself of what will happen next.
          could be the night more peaceful
          will the heart be at ease
          and in the morning i'll be smiling.
          
          without regretting anything or wanting to die.
          with my soul intact in my body,
          knowing she'll be safe.
          and the mind will be clearer,
          so the heart will continue to beat.
          
          does anyone knew i was scared of the night
          want to be someone's arms
          to kept me warm.
          was they knew it?
          or i was the only one....

uppermoontwo

as i hold the pen in my hand,
          thoughts occupied me.
          was i ever good enough to write,
          about us
          
          about the universe we hope to be ours
          the story that continuously shatter
          in the dust
          was it gonna be good
          
          because who knew,
          words are a soothing swords,
          it might hurt us
          or rejoice us
          
          but one thing for sure
          we won't able to get back
          the lost love
          we leave behind
          
          am i good enough
          to write about
          what was already written in the past?
          and close the chapter as it says, "the end".