urfavoritevibrator

4 new chapters plus 2 bonuses just posted! Sorry for the long ass wait<33

BratzMentality

Hiii!! First off love love love your story. Wish nothing but creativity flowing for you <3 also I wanted to ask you if you could possibly skim over my story and give me pointerd on how I could make it better? 

urfavoritevibrator

Okay so I just finished your story and here’s what I have to say: So far I’m really enjoying the plot, it’s a good story. I would try to be more descriptive with the characters and the settings. You did great describing the lake in Chapter 8! When you show the photos try describing them as well. Also, when introducing new characters introduce the way they look, think about who they are to the MC and why they are there. Kinda like how you did with the nurse in Chapter 6. One last thing I would recommend is trying to say the word “I” a little less. It’s hard, I know, but the word gets very repetitive after awhile. Other than than the story is really good. I love Senaii’s personality too!
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urfavoritevibrator

Hey love! I would love to read your story! I’ll give some pointers once I’m done.<33
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