cam.

i actually was on a break since a couple of months as well, just came back and was checking up on people and turns out you had only just posted an announcement that you’re back as well– the coincidental timing was far too perfect, you see. 
            and right, yes yes yes. exactly what i meant to say, see? you get it and yet were unwilling to sit in a lecture of mine, i’m not that bad at conveying my thoughts, sir. that very comforting narrative is actually highlighted by marx when he calls ‘religion as the opium of masses’, he believes that religion acts as the blanket of comfort for the common man for he doesn’t know who to blame, the government, his exploiters or himself? so he turns to religion, which then acts as his drug, to numb him really of the pain of it all– makes sense? 

@Readsshit Why did you say the timing was immaculate? I get what you mean. There’s this tension between believing in fate or destiny as a comforting narrative, and facing the stark randomness or ambiguity of existence that can feel nihilistic. The idea that everything is written can be soothing, like there’s some grand design or purpose guiding us, but then the uniqueness of every individual decision complicates that, because if all is predetermined, how do we reconcile personal agency? And yes, when you factor in the multitude of influences like environment, upbringing, chance; it blurs where responsibility truly lies. Blame, then, becomes a fluid concept, not absolute, because every choice is shaped by a complex web of causes. Life rarely offers simple answers. It’s always somewhere in the gray.

you know why i said the timing was immaculate? 
            hm, i’ve got my feet in two boats though— sometimes it all feels deterministic but that’s also a way of numbing yourself to harsh realities and saying something better is trotting on it’s way over to you soon and it’s all written already, something big is planned but then i go down the nihilistic road of whether it is all really written? if everyone’s unique then no one is, eh. and yes, on that point i’m certain that every decision taken by an individual cannot be solely attributed to that individual alone, a lot of factors play into but to varying degress ofcourse and that’s when the question of blame comes in, what factor do you really put the blame on. it’s never just black and white, is it. 

I’m sorry I didn’t reach out in December. A lot went on and I ended up incredibly ill and my sister is in the ICU. I miss you and I hope you had a good holiday season. Have a great new year week c:

They kept saying how good I was doing and that people normally pass out. I was just sitting there dying like why would you tell me this? You were glad I kept writing? Don’t lie to me. It’s okay if I didn’t pass in your mind as you have a life outside of this app. I thought about leaving this little pixel but realized you’re here so I couldn’t just pop off of it. Nooo it’s okay Camden worry about getting your meals in and keeping up with school.

It was awful. He cleared out his office because I was screaming in pain. I see him soon and it’s scaring me again. Who knows if I’ll keep going tbh. I’m trying to distract myself with certifications and stuff like that. I can hopefully become a part of your routine. I’m guessing this app just fell in the background as you’ve probably been dealing with a lot. I’m glad you’re here. 

Take care of yourself. 

Make sure to apply your aloe too and drink plenty or water. Don’t skip three meals (one of them always being cereal—switch it up :p) 

I didn’t want to dirty up your thread. 

Maine Coons are the best! 

I had a few club meetings yesterday. Business wasn’t too fun so far, but will be soon. Chem was really fun! My team ended up winning the experiment and got the best results 

She’s a very sweet cat. She’s only 5 months old, yet already quite big. She will be a very massive cat