ed'⭒.⍣ᶦᵉ

i decided to reupload my dear unknown bcs why not. i'm indecisive like that.

you know i don't know if my friendships are borderline romantic on my part or not because the amount of intimacy and attachment i have towards them is baffling. or i just have abandonment issues.

life hasn't been mundane to me. not really. but it is oddly quiet. maybe because i have some progress on the recording that i need to make however little but it also may be because i have procrastinated to do the actual recording. when i'm scared, i run. i hide. of course it's temporary but it gives me a false sense of security that will resurrect over the course of my life until i die, i think. depressing, i know, but i don't think i'll ever bloom into a courageous persona. lmao now that i've read what i wrote i think that's a bit too much for a person who has recently been free from the shackles of school momentarily

i have been severely inactive in here and everywhere else. been lacking in school too. but i just have nothing to say. my mind is empty and the only thing i can talk about and write is of a world that doesn't exist. a bit of oversharing but that's okay bcs i'm immensely lonely

the grip tomione and dramione have on me is concerningly tight

i've got the sudden urge to sink down to the ground and stop existing

been kind of quiet as of late. i don't know what to say. i've been struggling with my mental health a bit so there's that. i also have a shit ton of assignments that i've been procrastinating to do. life, quite frankly, is shit.

friday no.2 //
          
          moths encircle the blood that flows from dark creeks, in praise of the shimmers. like dew in the dawn of an april day, we slumber and sway, fill others with warmth and sighs, withdraw the cruxes of the dismal, not to fray the melancholy - even if it is only for minutes - and breathe. so, like the moths, like the dew, do not be afraid to embrace the darkness behind you, in front of you, for it is part of you. part of the many pieces you are made of. so breathe near these "darknesses", for they wish to see you fill yourself with something that, somehow, lifts your visage to the eidolon of the sky. breath, it is one of the greatest pleasures.
          
          // szaffi. ♡♡
          
          (if you'd rather this in pms for not clogging up your mb just say so <3)

i'm debating on publishing an original work despite only having one chapter written. idk i kind of hate it bcs it doesn't make sense and i hate the flow so. 

i don't know if i can say that i had a great day or a bad day because i had a huge meltdown and my phone fell down in the toilet but i'm weirdly productive?? today's weird