this message may be offensive
hi,
idk if people would even care now since it’s been so long since i last logged in here and spoke. i wanted to let out some things here that i can’t talk to people about. i wanted to update about where i am at and how i am doing.
anyyway,, for real? i am doing shitty. completely honest and not give a fuck who’s reading this? i’ve become a lot worse. i’ve become suicidal and it may seem something i so carelessly tossed around but yeah, that’s my current status.
i thought i moved on from certain things of my past and i am doing great and dandy, but apparently not. i am still fucked up.
do i want your pity? no.
am i doing this for attention? no.
i have been thinking if i should even say anything about how i feel and why i am like this because all of this,,, everyone can read.
wattpad used to be a platform that i let out how i feel without worrying about any kind of judgement towards me or something that i don’t want to talk about to people i know in person. so with that thought, i came back to let it out.
i also came back because i really miss the people i used to talk here and they deserve to know where i am at.
initially, i never wanted to make friends and allow people in because i knew that i have a shitty mind and it could hurt people and it’d be unfair to drag them along with me but i really thought i was doing better.
everything kept getting worse and i really don’t know what to do.
i am really sorry. i really am trying to get better but i have more bad days than good and i am trying not to let my dark thoughts control my mind but there are days where i lose and those days are ugly.
i will be gone for a lot longer than a few days. i don’t know how long but i won’t disable this account but i will be gone for a long time. maybe i’ll be back if miraculously i wake up and get better but until then;
bye.
