Omg... I just got off a call with my boyfriend; he is a sweetheart. I know it might sound cringy, but I’m serious. During the call, I asked him, “Are you playing with my feelings?” I brought this up because my ex—whom I really didn’t want to mention—ruined me mentally, and I nearly harmed myself because of him. My ex played with my feelings, abused me physically/verbally, and I was completely blind to even notice. I tend to overthink about my boyfriend and our relationship because it feels so unreal.
Talking to him is so different from how it was with my ex. My boyfriend is sweet, caring, and very religious (and I don’t mean that in an offensive way). He told me that he never wants to hurt me, and if he ever does, he would never be able to forgive himself. He said that relationships come with temptations.
“No matter what, baby, please do not let me touch you in any way that will make you uncomfortable. I will never forgive myself for it,” is exactly what he said.
I can’t help but feel the urge to take care of his soul from all the bad in this world. He is literally not like any guy I have ever met or talked to. He is so different, and I mean that in a good way. He feels like an angel from heaven, truly. I promised him that I would never lie to him or hurt him in any way, and I trust him completely. He has my trust, too. Our relationship is nothing like any I’ve had before. He says he loves me so much (I love him too) and actually plans to marry me one day.
Like bro, how did I get so lucky? My therapist asked me about our relationship and how my boyfriend is, and before I could even say a word, I started crying. Being in a relationship with a guy like him is such a big change from my past experience with my ex. I nearly ended my life because of him.
It’s a different feeling that I can’t quite explain. I just love him so much—maybe too much, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. : )
