yippee!!!!

Idk what’s wrong with me but I keep forgetting to close things and turn things off 
          
          My old tv used to not turn off after a period of inactivity, but my new one does shut off automatically, so if I forget to turn it off that’s not an issue. The issue is I forget to pause or turn off the YouTube video i was watching so it keeps going. 
          
          I went out to shovel, grabbed the shovel from the garage, and forgot to close the garage door after I went back in
          
          Then I forgot to close the inside door to the garage all night once. Which is bad because it’s winter and we have birds. 
          
          I also forgot to close the freezer door. Which is bad because we have so much food in there and we’re so broke that we can’t afford food waste. Thankfully it’s winter and the freezer is in the garage. 
          
          I forgot to turn the sink off in TWO DIFFERENT bathrooms. The first time my mom used the downstairs bathroom not long after I did while I was cooking and noticed I didn’t turn the sink off. The second was this morning, I had forgotten my phone in my bathroom and noticed I didn’t turn the sink off after brushing my teeth. 
          
          My water flosser has two switches, one to turn it on and one to make the water go (like how a hose with a sprayer has the on/off valve, and then the sprayer that you have to pull the trigger with) and I keep forgetting to turn the on/off one off, despite the fact that it makes an annoying machinery sound 
          
          It’s gotten so frequent that I had to run downstairs twice after taking my food upstairs to make sure I closed the fridge, and then had to check the security camera to double check 

“God, who the heck left the bathroom so cluttered and messy?” Says I, the only one in this house who uses this bathroom

The only way I can describe the way the right think about trump is as though they’re all 15 year old lesbian/bi girls in a super codependent and toxic friendship with the first girl they ever had romantic feelings for who is also their best friend and entire world 

It’s weird how such unrelated decisions changed the course of my life 
          
          Like how the house my parents picked out for me determined where I went to college 
          
          My parents deciding on the house we lived in, deciding between two houses and coming to the conclusion that my family would value a house with a finished basement more than a big backyard, especially with a park nearby. That leads me to being in the zone for the elementary school I went to, which lead to the friends I made, which lead to me following a friend to college. 

My sister is so used to me going ‘it’s happened again, I’ve watched a new show and it’s happened again’ and knowing exactly what I mean 

It’s crazy how procrastinating applying to field placement lead to me finding my calling in life. 
          
          I procrastinated so hard that I was left with either picking the only option left or waiting another year to graduate. So I picked that option with a ‘I can pick a better option for my second placement’ mentality. 
          
          And the option I stumbled into because I procrastinated ended up being the area of social services that I thrive in. I adored my placement, I loved the work, I loved the challenge. I loved it so much. I learned a lot in it. 
          
          I also loved my second placement, it taught me so much and I worked with such a diverse group of people, both client wise and worker wise, but my first placement gave me my entire future pathway. 
          
          I now work for an agency that supports the same population that my first placement did, just in my hometown, and I genuinely think that I found my calling in life, that this is what I was put here to do. It is the most fulfilling, challenging, amazing jobs to ever be in my possession. 
          
          Obviously I’d never ever EVER suggest people do what I did, I just got incredibly lucky and my situation had every chance to end up being that that placement would be something I despised doing. I just think it’s funny that I stumbled into my purpose 

Working overnights messed with your perception of time 
          
          My sister and her bf were over today for Christmas celebrations and me and my sister both work overnight shifts in the coming days (she works them very sporadically, my shifts are only nights) so we both stayed up together to maintain my sleep schedule and mould hers for her nights 
          
          And because of how I perceive time, I try telling myself AM is PM and same the other way around 
          
          So like it’s 4 am right now? I refer to it at 4pm. 
          
          Somehow tricks my mind into not being tired during the night on my days off 

Being an adult is weird because you go through life being wary of age differences when you talk to people, and then all of a sudden you’re 23 and your best friends at work are older than your parents who are in their mid 40s. 
          
          And I wouldn’t have it any other way I adore those people and I adore working with them. 

I can’t wait to meet a girl so beautiful that I just can’t figure out what to say to her when I try to tell her I love her. I can’t wait to tell her I want to rob a bank with her because we’re both too awkward to say how we really feel. 

OH MY GOD???? 
          
          I cannot make ONE singular decision can I? 
          
          My personality? Not only am I a Gemini, I’m autistic and have masked my entire life, therefore my authentic self was unable to come out until recently when I began learning to unmask. 
          
          Who I’m attracted to? That’s hilarious, because I went my entire teenage years saying I was pansexual, and now I’m questioning if I’m actually pansexual because I feel like my attraction is fluid now! The idea of a penis does not appeal to me! But it probably will again soon! 
          
          My gender? Always been fluid! The idea of a penis does not appeal to me! But it probably will again soon! 
          
          My sexual attraction? Is that also fluid to me, where I’m somewhere on the ace spectrum, and it changes similar to other things? 
          
          Is my attraction even really the way we describe it, or is it different because of my neurodivergent mind and I perceive these things different than others, but the terms were coined with neurotypical minds in mind? 
          
          My relationship preference when it comes to monogamy? Honestly also changes, sometimes I feel I can’t handle a polyamorous relationship, other times I severely crave one! 
          
          My pronouns? Also fluctuating! I’m even going by we/our pronouns in my head, despite the fact that I don’t have any form of auditory hallucinations and I’m not a system or related to the diagnosis of DID, like others who use we/our pronouns when referring to their singular body! 
          
          My life is fun and now I get to do some research!