weakdreamer

a window for strays random update bec miserable ako so here it goes 
          	
          	https://www.wattpad.com/1620697221

weakdreamer

LONG POST
          
          Hi, my hands are literally shaking as I type these words down. I know many of the readers who visits my crafts have been waiting for Part 2 of HP, believe me. I've been trying to finish it, but it never felt really right. I'm sorry, but I've decided to ghost Hakbang Pabalik. It's taking too much toll on me. I know many will be disappointed, but no matter how hard I try to continue it. I feel disconnected from the me who first wrote it. The burden of finishing it every year, making promises I could never keep, is too heavy for me to carry. I'm sorry for disappointing you all, for being unable to finish HP. Forgive me, but this decision wasn't easy for me too. HP has always haunted me since I last stopped writing it, and I can't find the joy of writing it anymore. It's not your fault; I am forever grateful for the support and love Malia had received. The joy I receive from readers who have been with me, from those who came back hoping to read Malia's story once again—I will forever treasure that. This pressure is self-inflicted, it's a me problem, & I can't apologize enough. I kept telling you and myself  that I would finish it. Idk if I can. I'm still contemplating whether to delete my stories here for good or keep them for old time's sake. I know it's selfish & irresponsible of me. But, I came to terms that I can't write it as I am; the past 5 years have been proof I've been trying, but the joy and excitement I once had for HP is so hard to reach now. Honestly, I feel like I don't know how to write anymore or if I am cut out to be a writer. I'll still write though, I just don't want to give anyone any more false hope, not you readers, not me. If you ask me if I still plan to finish this, I don't know. I wish I do, but if there's a miracle I manage to actually write it, I will, and I'll share it, but for now. I really can't, so, let this be the sign to not wait for Hakbang Pabalik; it's time for us to move on. Thank you for the love and support. Love lots!

qirlNsh4dow

@weakdreamer take ur timeeeee
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weakdreamer

I realized the last chapter posted for when a writer dies was the older draft and not the revised version I made earlier, I unpublished it hoping to publish the new version. However, ayaw ata ni Watty maging masipag ako kasi I can't publish it hahahaha I'll try to upload the Chapter 12 a bit later when it's working. Wala lang, skl hue

weakdreamer

@Literareyna it's a sign huwag mag-update ahahahaha
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Literareyna

@weakdreamer yes, nag giglitch ang Watty. Hindi rin ako makapag pub a while ago
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weakdreamer

Torn between keeping Bea’s story in Taglish or pure English. Hmm, It’s almost done though. I’ll post it once I’ve decided. Wala lang skl HAHAHAAH

athlast

@weakdreamer kahit ano po basahin q pa rin ❤️
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HannahRedspring

@weakdreamer aabangan ko ito... ❤️❤️❤️
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weakdreamer

To all who read Hakbang Pabalik,
          
          I know I’ve promised for years to finish Hakbang Pabalik, and some of you probably think I’ve already ghosted the story. Honestly, minumulto pa rin ako ng story na ’yan, and I have no intention of leaving it hanging. I appreciate everyone who has waited—and is still waiting—I really do.
          
          However, I’m going to be honest. I’m struggling to write it down, even though I already have the remaining plot envisioned. I no longer know how to write the way I used to, nor do I have the confidence in my technicalities and language. And as the title implies, there are parts of me that need to step back too.
          
          I will no longer promise when I will publish the remaining chapters, but here’s what I can promise—I can’t and will never leave Hakbang Pabalik hanging. Nothing has really changed; I am still working on it (my brain just has too many tabs, I work on multiple crafts at the same time lol).
          
          For now, I am negotiating my relationship with writing. I’m writing whatever comes to mind and what feels the strongest. I don’t want to end up hating something I’ve always loved (mostly a me problem, oo sarili ko lang din nagpe-pressure sa akin haha).
          
          I just feel like I owe this to all of you. I want to let go of this guilt—maybe if I do, I’ll be able to write freely again, without chains of my own making.
          
          Thank you so much for believing in and reading my stories. I can never thank you all enough for your patience and support.
          
          Forgive me if I still choose to write at my own pace, as slow as it may seem. I know I have been doing that for years, but I want to at least name it once here. I just want to feel like I’m writing for myself again.