weeblover-chan
This is just for me to say my feelings of today but I feel sad and anxious maybe some numbness today was a day to celebrate my birthday even though it is 13 days late. But yeah it took two days since I fell asleep on the first day the second day my mom told me it would only be our family for the time when I blow the candles on my cake. So I waited till the guest left but two remained for the photos. I didn't want to leave my room because I still hanged on to the idea it would only be us so I kept on waiting till they left but didn't. It was until my parents came and said it was time to blow the candles so I went to check if the guest left but I saw the same two guest still there and I didn't want to go out because I (didn't like/felt uncomfortable) being around other people even if they were relatives. *I don't hang out with any relatives* So, my mom kept on calling me even saying she would (scold/ hit me) if I didn't. So I reluctantly did I also teared up a bit and was having a hard time to cheer and motivated myself to deal with it even if I knew I had problems with other people and handling my emotions. Fast forward the pictures were frustrating but still managed to deal with it even with my frizzy hair and pink eyes from tearing up still went by. I went back to my room waiting for the guest to leave when they did my dad told me to eat but I didn't want to after seeing a fly near the food. That lead to an argument of my parents my mom saying I'm old enough to cook what I eat and my dad saying to heat up some leftovers of the food prepared. I also told my dad what was the problem was. It didn't go well with my mom intervening and drawing the attention of my siblings. Ended up eating maruchan with my younger sister to comfort me. Right now still having tension with my mom I'm hoping would go away tomorrow. Also happy new years even if it is late.
