otto

i want someone to cuddle with and someone who takes me on dates and is romantic and will watch old movies like ferris buhlers day off and back to the future with me. i want someone who accepts me for me and will go out into the woods with me and scream the lyrics to our favorite songs into the trees. they'd slow dance with me and we'd have that moment where someone spins the other and we burst out laughing and kiss. i want someone who will listen to my rants about my interests and life. they'll come to all my shows when im in a band and they'll tell me the truth about how i was and no matter what they say, we'll kiss even if they tell me we sucked. i just want someone who i love and who loves me and makes me feel loved. surely that cant be too hard to find.

does anyone else notice weird things in their lives? strange patterns? ive been noticing a lot recently. such as the fact that i lose all of my friends after maybe 6 or 7 years. its funny a friendship that lasts for 7 years supposedly lasts a lifetime. i can think of 3 cases when it wouldve been 7 years that we wouldve been friends and then all of the sudden we arent. the first one was madison, someone who id known since we were 3. when we were nine we spent every day together. then in 4th or 5th grade we stopped talking. it was gradual. we only exchange hellos now. the 2nd one was cat. we met in prek so were about 4. when we were 11  we spent every weekend together having sleepovers whenever possible. hangouts turned into sleepovers and our sleepovers were the best part of my life back then which is really saying something. it was also a case where we gradually stopped talking to each other but I still wish her a happy birthday. then there was sarah. where do i even start with her? we met in 2nd grade. we both loved star wars and cheesy movies and the summer between eighth and ninth grade we spent so much time together. we went to the local waterpark at least once a week (thank god for season passes) and sleepovers usually followed. her mom makes the best popcorn and she would make it each time i came over. we didnt really have anything in common but we were close so that counted for something. she ended up accusing me of saying something bad about her behind her back (which i didnt) uninvited me to her birthday party and pretty much hasnt talked to me since. this pattern keeps repeating so why should i make friends if theyre only gonna leave me? i only get like 6 and a half years with someone before they leave so what’s the point? i made some really good friends in recent years and if this continues the first onell leave me my senior year followed by another the next year and maybe a few more the next. If no one stays with me whats the point of meeting new people?

*clears throat* miss me by frank iero and the patience is a mood rn

so i dont think ill be able to update my oneshots book tomorrow, but once i finally write a new one, ill be sure to update  it. im sorry

CAN WE PLEASE TALK ABOUT THE PERCY JACKSON ADAPTATION THING??? PLEASE????

i just spent the past hour deleting most of my playlists and redoing my aesthetic on spotify and now its time to change the pictures so here we go this will probably take another hour

do you ever want to really just want to kiss someone? cuz like same

yes im rewatching a 51 minute long video just so i can see i certain part leave me alone

no one fucking cares about me and all my friends are ignoring me collectively its like they all decided not to respond to me and now im super sad and feel isolated and idk what to do but im on my floor crying because i miss them but they dont even want to talk to me

hehe no one cares ✌️