I'm sorry i am not good enough. I'm sorry i never will be good enough . I'm sorry for all the trouble i have caused . I'm sorry for everything i have put you through. For all the chaos i have put you through. I'm sorry i wasnt smart enough to stop it. That i did not stop myself from getting too attached. I am just done with getting the blame for everything. I take blame for the most part and you think everything is my fault because of it. I know there are some people out there who still care but i am honestly done. What is the point of living a life of hell to go to heaven in the future why not just go now? Its not like it would change anything. I would be with my lost loved ones. I deserve this. I have learned to protect myself but ine day i started taking it too far. I now instead of only harming for self defence I use it against myself and innocent others. I say i love you alot. I have realized over half my life i have just wanted attention. It is not healthy for me anymore. I should not have to take pills to help me clear my mind and sleep, but i do. I am messed up. I'm sorry you have had to deal with me for however long you have. I'm sorry im not perfect like you expect me to be. I'm sorry im such a disappointment to you. I am sorry if i havw ever hurt you physically or emotionally. I truly am sorry. I have tried to change but i can not. It is not possible for me to change anymore. I have tried and tried but it never works. You tellvme to stop and i actually do for a while. Then something pushes me over the egde and i am done tring to escape my fate.
