Heeeyyy.... i have a strong inclination to tell you the truth. A large percentage of my past books were written by an illiterate, untalented little girl, and, GUESS WHAT? They still are.

 But, if you are rather virtuous fellow, who likes to give little girls (with big dreams) a chance to reach their everlasting pipe dream of being a moderately decent writer: THEN YOU SIR, ARE IN LUCK. 

So, here's your pass into the extraordinarily strange realm that is my Wattpad. 

(There's punch and a plethora of artificially flavored carbohydrates in the corner on that dingy, mildly scented, plastic fold-out table over there; where my Lebanese monkey butler is taking meal orders. (I recommend the coconut shrimp, although I have yet to try it since I happen to be a vegetarian, but if you do, please inform me on how delicious it is.) And I know what you're thinking... (is she even allowed to use parentheses inside or parentheses?) And that is when I say... (yes, children, I am (I mean she is), in fact, allowed to do this) and before you say it, I would like you to know that... (she is aware that she is most likely executing this all wrong) and I would also like you to know that: (SHE IS TALKING IN THIRD PERSON FOR NO REASON))))))).