@Frostplume_27 Thanks! To be honest I am a novice writer and as you can see, I take a lot of time publishing my chapters (Mainly because I really want to improve my writing).I'm not that good of a writer so don't take my comment for garenteed, I'll just express my opinion. I took a look at your story and your sentences are goodly written, you have a good vocabulary. I also noticed that your writting improved during the latest chapters. I would say that the thing missing here is pace, especially in the early chapters things are going very fast for the reader to adapt. Maybe by making the character feel the environment, take a moment with their emotion or creating a routine would make it have more pace. (Again I'm just a novice trying to improve so I'm not sure if that's a good statement but I hope it helps)
