Hey, you. (0-o)/ Yes, you. You're amazing.
"But you don't even know me."
Yeah, I do. I'm Santa Claus. *slides on shades and pokes myself in eye*

1. Please be kind to yourself. Whether or not you believe it, you matter and are deserving of love, especially your own. Yes, there are many people in the world, and each one of them has their own problems. But you and your problems still matter, so tend to them, and if you need help, reach out. I'm open.
2. Please be kind to others. Just as you matter, they matter too. 
3. When you see something wrong, please fight against it. It can be through words, action, gathering more people- but recognize the problem, acknowledge it, and try to solve it.
4. We're stronger together. Divided, we suffer headaches from math. 

"You've got the light to fight the shadows
So stop hiding it away" - Emeli Sandé

Professions: 
- Being lazy
- Bad jokes
- Knee slapping

I write "some" on both my hands. I get called into the principal's office. Upon entering the room, I lift both hands up and say "I'm two handsome for this." I leave. 

Bro has evolved to bruh and will eventually turn into bra. *leans back and does the little chin nod thing* Sup, bra. You're lookin quite strappy today. *winks aggressively*

"I don't care who you are, we all shit the same. Beyoncé shits. The pope shits. The Queen of England shits. When we shit we forget our airs and our graces, we forget how famous or how rich we are. All of that goes away." - Trevor Noah

Well anyways, have a wonderful day ^_^

But wait, there's more! So some people are c-cups and all, and others are flat, like me. For example, I have flat... ULENCE! HAHA! Oh wait... I'm the only one laughing. Well, might as well fart to fill the silence

If you read all of this, whoa. *stands up and starts clapping*
*realizes too late I was sitting on the toilet*
Oh shit -*cough*- TAKE MUSHROOMS

"When the prison doors are opened, the real dragon will fly out" - Ho Chi Minh
(this must be about farts or sharts)