Apple Chip

Anybody else just feeling stupidly lonely and a more than a little depressed lately? Cause it's weird and it sucks and I don't like it and I have no one to talk to about it.

So. About 2 months ago, where I work was not in the best of conditions and I came to the conclusion that then would be a perfect opportunity for me to leave. We were overstaffed, so it would give everyone else an opportunity to pick up hours, I already had tickets to CA for the MCR concert and I started thinking about why I was coming back before deciding to put in my notice. I then realized that I needed to come back because I was broke and had bought a two way ticket and i had no where long term to stay. And then I'd be stuck in California. So I got myself an appointment with a local tattoo artist to give myself something to come back to, and I got it this week, it's awesome, but I can't shake the feeling that there is nothing for me here. My first shift back I had a bit of a mental breakdown because I came to the conclusion that I had thrown away the golden opportunity to start over and do something meaningful with my life. Keep cooking as a hobby, where I can learn to love food again, pursue music whilst doing something else professionally, actually make a real difference in people's lives instead of just bringing smiles at the dinner table to people that can afford to come in, and most of the time I don't even get to see the smiles. I've decided that I want to do something that makes a real difference in the soemone's life, and decided then and there that I'm going to quit and move to the lower 48. I'm gonna save up and learn guitar and maybe drums at some point, learn to write songs and try doing that. At least learn how to play my favorite songs from other people and play those. Point is, I'm getting sick of staying in a kitchen all day, and I didn't realize how tired I was of it until I got back, how tired I was of making the same dishes everyday and maybe getting to talk to 6 people on shift if I'm lucky, more likely 4. I want to do something that matters, which'll take forever cause minimum wage's a bitch and I don't have the money to quit yet. yay.

Anyone want to start a band in rural Alaska? I managed to get to the MCR concert and needless to say it was awesome, but the only music community here is high school orchestra and elderly balalaika players and I am lonely.

Just posted a rant about Endgame, and had some ideas I thought were interesting. I'd like some feedback if you guys have a minute or 5.
          https://www.wattpad.com/story/204662222

So, I am pretty airophobic and I live on an Island. Neither of these were my idea, but here we are. I hate going in planes, I cannot get relax in them, just the lack of control is too paralyzing to me and I don't... just.... no. I will give an extra thousand dollars and 11 hours to take a boat, thankyou.
          But, last year I had to take 8 planes last year.
          First was off the island, and then the next to Seattle, and then to Chicago. The next three were the inverse for the ride home, and then the last two were to just off the island and back. But on the second one, to Seattle, I remembered one of the first episodes of Supernatural. The plane one with the demon where we find out Dean is afraid of planes. 
          He used Metallica to keep himself calm. Well, my brain was at a blank for Metallica songs, and I  didn't have any on my phone, but I did have earbuds and Twenty One Pilots' first album, which I often turn to in times of crisis. I listened. To the album and by the time Isle of Flightless Birds comes round, we're landing and it didn't really work. So the next flight, a five hour one I think it was, I just press shuffle and just try to relax. It doesn't work. And then The End by MCR comes on. The Black Parade album has always been a fun album for me because there are so many ways to interpret the story. Did he die in the beginning or did he just wake up from the surgery his doctor is talking about in Dead? Whose funeral is Welcome to the Black Parade talking about? His dad's, his mom's, brother's, his own? Or is it just about the fact that the patient will have a funeral soon running theough his head as he realizes he won't be remembered?
          So I play the album. I remember getting to the Sharpest Lives, and then I wake up in Chicago. The playlist had gone through Danger Days,(yes, I have danger days on my phone and enjoy it, bite me it's underrated( and back to Bullets. Oddly enough, it wasn't the reason I woke up.
          
          That! Walk I wanted to say. Night.

Anybody know how to make friends? Or reconnect with old ones that you drifted apart from and haven't spoken a word to in months? K, thanks.

Do you ever just go to post a comment on a story, and then get incredibly self-concious and/or ashamed over the fandom/subject matter because everyone can see what you vote on or comment on... please don't look, I have weird conversations.

Hey people, I started a Captain America fan fiction. I don't really know where it's going yet, but if you want to take a look at it, I would really appreciate it. I takes place starting towards the end of Age of Ultron, and will probably end... I don't know, later than that. Please check it out.