Some lovely burns to spread around the world:

"Someday you'll go far... and I hope you stay there."

"You are proof that evolution can go in reverse."

"Gay? I'm straighter than the pole your mom dances on."

"Were you born on the highway? That is where most accidents happen."

"I was pro-life. Then I met you."

"You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine."

"I don't exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it."