wolvhunt
this message may be offensive
we had fights before, but not like this one. I tried to play it cool, you know, the whole, "kill them with kindness" thing, right? well I thought wrong. who would of thought someone you have called your best friend, someone who you could talk to about anything, someone you trusted, could one day turn the tables.. and makes you want to kill yourself. I mean nobody would really miss me anyway? but doing what I did, as small as it was, was something that made me think that maybe she was waiting to end our friendship, to take away the things that make me happy. well it worked. I guess we could end over something that was my mistake. everything is my fucking mistake, I never do anything right. my whole life is made up of I'm sorry I was wrong, so I thought why let them hear what they want? whatever I did made it worse. would I take it back? absolutely. but she said things that I couldn't believe she actually called me. would she take it back? probably not, I mean I guess I hurt her. she made me feel worthless, well wait. I think I am. I mean I don't have any true friends I can talk to after tonight. I also realized a lot of things... I realized I had no other friends to talk too, not like her. she was the one I would talk to to rant and make myself look better during an argument with someone else. but she's friends with all of them, I was the dumb coowner who tried to make friends with them too. they all like her better, even my second closest one probably does too. leaving me with no one. no one to talk to. maybe this will all blow over tomorrow morning. we will become the friendship goals we always were. I honestly have no idea. maybe this was the end of a years long friendship. she might see this. she might not. but I needed to document this. document this as the first time in my life, I truly wanted to kill myself.
