sometimes i dream of having a kid even though i don't want any all to prove it to my parents that you can actually put your kid's needs first. i dream of taking my kid out for their birthday if they want and getting them gifts and surprising them with whatever they want most, instead of inviting toxic relatives for lunch every year and having no gifts and going through such stress that my birthday is actually something i dread and not look forward to. every year on my birthday I've felt like a burden. i never went out with friends, never had them over for my birthday. every birthday was always relatives and stress, even the smallest wishes couldn't come true, even when they required no money, when we had little, when we had a little more.
and if my kid wants to stay in and do nothing or spend the day with me or their friends or whatever, i can imagine my parents getting offended that they're not there because they can't imagine putting a child's needs first
i don't want kids because i wouldn't be a good parent but i know I'd be better than mine ever were