this message may be offensive
i love crunchy things tbf. But you know what I love more? Sizzly things with a bacon-y bbq flavor. Like bacon. Bacon. Bacon that melts in your mouth. Specific, good parts of bacon. NOT THE BACON FAT THOUGH. I HATE BACON FAT. SO, SO MUCH. but good bacon? Oh mama mia it is GOOD. it ends so soon, though.. what if I had a UNLIMITED SUPPLY?!? OF EVERFLOWING BACON!? WHENEVER I WANT IT?! OH! IT WOULD BE SIMPLY GORGEOUS!!
I MUST COMMENCE WITH MY EVIL PLAN! I NEED BACON EVER SO MUCH! BACON IS BEAUTIFUL! BACON IS LIFE!
[I start evilly laughing with all my might, heavily screaming with malice and aggression.]
[the camera is flipped to a goofy ass looking tweenager, sitting and smiling with her fingers put together like a stereotypical villain.]
LET ME TELL YOU MY EVIL CONQUEST FOR WORLD BACON DOMINATION!
[I spin around in my pretty pink wheely chair, and stand up, walking back and forth across the room as a projector plays a PowerPoint.]
You see, ever since I was a little itty bitty autism, I’ve ALWAYS loved bacon.
[the PowerPoint switches to a image of a young girl sleeping that looked a lot like me. Brown hair, big ass forehead.. you get the gyst.]
This is a image of me when I was younger.. I used to sleep talk about bacon.
[the image switched to the same girl literally NUKING CITIES for bacon.]
Dreamed about it…
But.. how will I get it? How will I win?
.. well-
[CAMERA CRASH.]
and THAT’S MY EVIL PLAN!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
you better have enjoyed that and taken EVERY little detail!!
That being said..
[poses]
Bye!! : )
[CAMERA SWITCH OFF.]