What defines love?
The quality of one's attributes,
Or the amount of love they malnourish themselves of?
What defines a lover?
An appealing face,
Or the pity you feel for a pathetic soul?
Dread overtakes and runs my actions
I fear to love
Love to keep peace
Keep peace to shield myself
Shield myself to avoid the hurt
Avoid the hurt even if it means shutting people out,
And shutting them down before they can get to me
I struggle to let my guard down
Even if it seems I do let it down,
I don't.
Everything is calculated, yet,
I can't help but fear every action I make,
Every personal thing about me I reveal,
And every time I put my trust in _
I practically gave _ a sword, I just hope he won't cut me down
I'm afraid to turn my back to anyone yet
I want to truly trust you
But I don't even trust my family
My parents, or even siblings hardly know anything about me
It feels so impossible
No matter how much I may try
I'm sorry that I'm such an ugly, pathetic, cowardly thing that I could never fully trust you