Hi, I am a girl and I love to write
(Crackling in the background)

Ignore my pet Unicorn, Bob, please
(Ignore me and I'll shoot you with my rainbow powers)

No he won't
(Yes, I will)

He is fat so even if he found you, you could out run him
(I am slimming down. I was fat thanks to all of your apple treats!)

Actually, you were the one that broke into the bucket of treats!
(I was hungry! Sue me!!)

Who is Sue?
(My girlfriend!)

Where does she live?
(IDK i met her online!)

She is probally a he.
(No cause girls have moustaches and she has a thick one!)

only guys have facial hairs you retard
( Oh that's not good!)

You should break up with him
(He is coming to meet me today!)

Does he know you are a fat unicorn?
(No.....)

You maybe want to go call him
(too late)

Dude your girlfriend who is a guy is a sock puppet!
(ouch.)

Well i am going to write
(I am going to go eat your dreams!)

BYE
(I'M COMING FOR YOU!"