xplicitlyvenus

Hey! I saw your Reddit post asking for feedback, so I checked out your book. Here are my thoughts!
          
          1. I really like the whole assassin’s daughter concept. It’s interesting and has the potential to lead into a really thought-provoking plot. One thing I found myself wondering, though, is whether Valeria has a distinct personality outside of being an assassin. Is she witty? Sarcastic? Cold? Optimistic? A lot of what pulls readers into a story is the main character’s inner voice, so giving her memorable personality traits can make her feel even more real.
          
          2. I also liked the dynamic between Valeria and her father. I love that she’s almost treated like a pawn by him. To make that relationship hit even harder, you could explore her feelings toward him a little more. Does she hate the way he uses her but still love him? Does she secretly resent him? That emotional conflict could add another layer to her character.
          
          3. My last point is about the writing style. This might just be a stylistic choice, but I personally find books easier to read when paragraphs have a bit more substance rather than being only one sentence long. Slightly longer paragraphs and deeper descriptions can help readers picture the world and become more immersed in the story.
          
          Overall, I think your book is really promising. It kept me interested throughout, and I genuinely think it has potential. Don’t stop writing just because it’s quiet at the beginning, every book starts somewhere, and you never know when yours will find its audience. ❤️

writtenbyrtxl

Thank you so much for your feedback, I really appreciate it and I decided the writing style will definitely be changed in the future chapters. 
            
            I will be writing more about Valerias personality in the upcoming chapter (her POV). I felt like waiting a little bit before going deeper into her personality and her traits. 
            
            I’m glad you liked the dynamic between Valeria and her father which will definitely have a lot of background stories behind how their relationship dynamic is in Valerias POV and whether she loves him or not. 
            
            More about Lucianos character will also come up especially since I’m doing his POV soon. There’s gonna be a flashback of why Valerias father wants him gone in the upcoming chapter which is gonna explain why Valeria got this contract by her father. I will say there’s gonna be plot twists I have in mind that’s why there won’t be a lot about Valerias father’s character, more just about Valeria and her father’s relationship for now..
            
            Thank you again I seriously appreciate the feedback and I know it’s definitely gonna help me in the future when writing the rest of the chapters! ❤️❤️
• Reply

xplicitlyvenus

Oof I almost forgot to add but I wish you added more about Luciano as a character, maybe a little nugget here and there giving reason behind why her father wants him gone. If it is your plot twist of course you don’t have to outright say it, but the mystery would help a lottt.
• Reply