literally turning 18 on the 29th… i have a month left of a free ride before i have to actually get myself together but i don’t know where to start. i’m basically trapped where i am, i see all my family members my age getting along fine and then i look at myself and what i’m doing and it’s like. im not meant for anything. i’m destined to be average. i will never be anything but mediocre and that’s so disappointing. i mean it’s not like i ever wanted to be a doctor or anything but the knowing that i’m just another person destined to do nothing but be a shell of my family’s back handed motivation, knowing that i’ll likely never have the passion or the drive to do something for myself that requires more than 10 minutes of physical labor. i hate waking up everyday because i’m just instantly reminded of who i am and what i lack and i don’t know where to start. i’m so lost but also trapped with not even a life jacket. i didn’t even graduate high school.