love

today is his bday and im fighting myself to not wish his bday as a move for me to start move on from this feelings.
          
          anyway, that doesnt stop me to wish it here. so 
          
          happy birthday. that's all. i hope you are always in pink and fight yourself for this year. achieved a good and better grade so you can graduate without any regrets. i hope you can payback everything your mum and dad had spent on you. at this point i just hope you try to be a better person for yourself. hardwork will never dissapoints.
          
          idk what else to say but by the end of the year, i moght not like you anymore so here i just want to confessed that i like you since 2021. all thirdwheel situations you had put me through is amazing. when i read through our old chat, i questioned myself, why did i let that happened lol. i always laught at the fact we fought for something very little for two months. imagine being a classmate, then you are very close then you foight and didnt talk for the whole 2 months. at the end i was the one apologized bcs i felt bad.
          
          it's crazy but it's true. i'd risk it all for you CEWAHHH TTBE BRUNOMARIKH
          
          anyway. yeah. i would be the one who clapped louder than anyone when it's your turn to stand on the stage and receive the awards for our graduatuon ceremony. i hope you knew that lol.

closing my february with no contact with him lo. i feel lik ive been fooled what the hell lol

he's been drifting away from me lately lol. not interested anymore ig?? WHAAAA WHY ARE WE JUST FRIENDS BRO??? idonthink were friend anymore recently...
          
          i think its time for me to mveon huwaaa it's a tiring year. ive been liking someone but yeah they didnt like me back after all those efforts.
          
          aku harap lepas aku tak suka dia dah, dia suka aku balik biar mampos kau gamon (aku rse xkan terjadi)
          
          happy fasting everyone !

and he decided to greet me today. the first thing he do this morning lol. i feel like he can read all my messages here lol. i hope not. right? its not like there were any secret admirers that admiring me from afar righttt

hi so today im not in the mood to talk but i want to write something about himi4uhucfnheinhfi.
          
          like hell during recess, the audacity of him to sit in front of me (not really in front laa selang beberapa meja) LIKE HELLLL EUFHUFHUHF sian tgk dia mkn sorg ii.
          
          i feel like we getting...become further we each othe rLOLLLL. maybe bcs i want to focus on my study, and he wants to focus in his life with his friends like yeahh loll. k bye i hope we still keep in touch

hai so today i think that beauty privilege si real. when youre pretty, everyone will loves you even you are stupid. ad yeah i said this as one of those unattra ctive people. i hope everyone that thinks they're ugly finally made up their mind and loves themselves more than how am i PEBENDE EDHQei.cfbzbgfhg3

second day of school and i cant help but not moving on from him yet. wish me luck.

hi so today our class has been schocked with the news of our classmate's dad not here anymore. it really break my heart by imagine his reaction bcs no, he's a cheerful person ever ive ever met!! he's the gentleman that i need in my life. he is my best friend, he is my family!!
          
          knowing that we know it early than him oh, my heartt. i've never met his parents before, but i know he really loved his late father. my friend, a hardworking person. even though he likes to jokes somethin not unnecessary, but i can imagine my life without him in my class. we're eight, and eight are one. (there's only 8 students in my class including me).
          
          he live far away from us. far from the city. i think losing him is worst than losing my crush. we have the chemistry that i cant describe how precious it is for me. he is our youngest siblings!!!
          
          im sorry because ranting something that you guys wouldnt understand. i cannot express myself but im really sad. ignore those grammars bcs idc anymore.
          
          i hope he can regain his strength again and never give up on his life. i hope i will never lost his gentle, cheerful side. i hope i will never lose him.
          
          to my platonic crush, to my fav siblings, to my brother, to my family. i dont want to lose you. im very grateful to see you.

i have been crying for 4 hours. its not because im sad. but im happy.
          
          stray kids have gone so far. after they got their Daesanga ward at MAMA yesterday, isaw them cry and their speech flick my heart like i have been with them for so long already. 4 years is a no joke.
          
          i dont really remember why i stan this group, i dont know how i suddenly cling and hang onto this group. everytime someone ask me, "who's your boyfriend?" i woul say it's hyunjin from stray kids. LOLOLLLLL. and since then i feel like stray kids is my home.
          
          they healed me through tehir songs, skzcode, funny behavior. i know this is cringe but i am rarely shared my thoughts or problems with anyone. even my firnds. i often keep it to myself, talk about it alone in my room or confessed it here, on my wattpad account.
          
          i feel like wattpad is the one made me cling onto straykidss lolllll HAHAHAH ALL THOSE CRINGE STORY I HAVE READ THEM ALL (except bl bcs idontlike them) yeah. lol
          
          everyone who followed me bfore i stan skz know i am  big tokrev fans HAHAAHAH since the manga end, i've never watch any anime anymore. i guess lonely hits me and made me watch korean variety shows. lolll okay thats all i just want to share since im very happy.
          
          THANK YOU STRAY KIDS.

guys what did you guys do when your best friend just leave you out when they have new friend?? actually no she didnt like really leave me out. it just me feels like that since she jarang update, jarang chat and we only got to spend time during recess since were in diff class. therefore she stills like dont want to spend time with me.  like she leave recess really damn early with her new friend. huh i dont want to get mad at her new best friend since she is my friend too. idk what to say la maybe its time kot for us to be like this?? i should really get used to this mf shit.